Friday, March 03, 2006

Gonna enjoy me some Pepsi

You know what I'm going to do this weekend? I'm going to enjoy some cool, refreshing Diet Pepsi. I can taste it now, just me, my couch, and the dulcet, calorie-free flavor notes of a 100% American Diet Pepsi.

Care to join me? I ask because, as it turns out, anyone can enjoy a bubbly Diet Pepsi. So why don't you come on over and we'll drink some damn Pepsi together.

I would humbly request that you not bring Coke. I don't want to drink that with you, or with anyone. It's a green-eggs-and-ham scenario, with respect to me and Coke.

You want Wild Cherry Pepsi? That's cool, that's cool. I'm not out to judge a man, so long as he enjoys a nice Pepsi once in a while. Wild Cherry Pepsi. Why the hell not?

You don't like Diet? That's completely fine. I'm trying to lose a little weight for my wedding. Actually, I might have a little sip. Do you mind? Just a little taste? That'll be nice. Just a taste of your Wild Cherry and I'll go back to my Diet. I do enjoy me some Pepsi.

Don't bring Coke, though, that's not cool. It's just us and some Pepsi. Let's just keep it like that, okay? Coke is for people who like to drown their pets beat their kids with wire hangers.

You want to watch TV? I can't imagine why not. Nothing like knocking back a couple of Pepsis and watchin' some B-ball.

If you want, you can just bring over some warm Pepsi. I've got ice. It's tray ice, but I don't see the need to purchase ice when I can just make it. Good match, Pepsi and ice.

What's that, Mello-Yello? Interesting choice. I heard that Mello-Yello is the official sponsor of "TransAmerica". Why don't we just stick to Pepsi?

You want to build model cars. Haven't built me some model cars in a coon's age. Oh, I'm sorry man. I didn't know that was offensive. Here, let's discuss or differences over some Pepsi with Lime. Now we're on the trolley. All calm with our Pepsi.

Yep, that's my weekend. Me, TV, racial harmony, and the effluvial nectar I sometimes call mother (by that, I am referring again to the Pepsi).

I would also like to announce my blog's new sponsor, which happens to be Pepsi.

6 Comments:

Blogger mrs. r said...

can i bring Dr. Pepper? it is a Pepsi product, after all

ps - you do realize that diet pop will kill you, right? But at least you'll look good at your wedding...=)

11:51 AM  
Anonymous Coke said...

Your discriminating really hurts man.

12:08 PM  
Blogger Kevin Sawyer said...

Mrs. R's comment was proudly sponsored by Wisconsin communists, with additional support from the Center for opportunistic junk science.

Coke,

I will kick you in the teeth if you appear on my blog again.

1:41 PM  
Anonymous The CEO of Pepsi Cola said...

I am so a Coke person....(shhh, it's our little secret)

1:58 PM  
Anonymous They Call Me Mr. Pibb! said...

Word to the Pepper.

4:09 PM  
Anonymous Thom said...

I find Pepsi best for taking to the shooting range and putting in front of the dangling targets.

A Pepsi can bleeds a beautiful syrupy, fizzy, brown sugar water...

9:44 PM  

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