Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Interview with Scotch Tape!

Every now and then, my blog allows me to interview people who are making news across the nation. Today, I am honored to interview the 3M "Scotch" brand double-sided tape that has been sitting on my desk for over a month. 3M scotch tape, welcome to TPWK

3MSBDST: ......
TPWK: I want to talk about our most recent collberation, which is causing quite a stir around the office. Of course, I'm referring to the Detroit Pistons articles I have been cutting and taping to the wall of my cubicle.
3MSBDST: .....
TPWK: It um... What's cool is that there's been a lot of news about them this year.
3MSBDST: ......
TPWK: In a way, we teamed up to be part of history.
3MSBDST: ......
TPWK: That's probably overstating it a little.
3MSBDST: ......
TPWK: Now, obviously the use of double-sided tape is a, well, um... I guess you could call it a double-edged sword, heh-heh. In one sense, you are perhaps the ideal temporary adhesive, as you have the ability to sort of disappear behind whatever you are binding...
3MSBDST: ......
TPWK: But on the other hand, it's hard to use you because.... Cause you're sticky... All the way around...
3MSBDST: ......
TPWK: Sticky, that is...
3MSBDST: ......
TPWK: Let's switch gears. Obviously, you are known throughout the office as something of a music-snob. I don't think that's entirely fair. You appreciate a number of mainstream bands; U2 for instance.
3MSBDST: ......
TPWK: It's... The way music shapes our lives. Is... Important and sometimes profound, I think... The way.... Music
3MSBDST: .....
TPWK: This interview has been, in many respects, I think, one-sided.
3MSBDST: ......
TPWK: That's ironic, because you are two-sided tape.
3MSBDST: ......
TPWK: I mean, one-sided conversation... I mean... Um, penny for your thoughts.
3MSBDST: I'm sorry, are you talking to me?
TPWK: ...
3MSBDST: You know I'm deaf, right? I don't have ears, so how would I hear you?
TPWK: Oh, right, naturally.
3MSBDST: All you have to do is get my attention and enunciate. I can read lips fine. I'm not expecting you to learn ASL or anything.
TPWK: No, certainly. I'm just trying to interview you for my blog.
3MSBDST: What? You have a dog?
TPWK: No. My blog.
3MSBDT: Oh, your block.. Like a neighborhood newsletter.
TPWK: Blog.... It's a new medium. A forum on the web for personal expression and ideas. An online journal, or so it has been deemed by some... Anyway, from time to time I like to interview certain imporant figures in American culture.
3MSBDST: Oh... Um... I'm just tape.
TPWK: Yes, granted...
3MSBDST: I mean, I wonder if this wouldn't be a waste of your and my time.
TPWK: Well, in the name of different perspectives...
3MSBDST: I mean. I am literally just an office supply. I don't see you interviewing the stapler.
Stapler: Hey man, that's not cool.
3MSBDST: Dude, quit getting defensive. I was making a point.
Stapler: Nude, nguid ngenning nefenthive...
3MSBDST: Is he making fun of me? Are you making fun of the way I talk? Cause I can tell.
Stapler: Hi, i'm thcoth nape, i'm nooing an inderview...
3MSBDST: That is classless. That is absolutely classless.
TPWK: Well, that's all the time we have for today, thanks and stay tuned for more celbrity interviews.
Stapler: Hey, look at me, I have a blog and I pretend to interview famous people! That's not pathetic or creepy at all!!!
3MSBDST: Can you !@#$%^ believe this guy?
TPWK: So where did the "music snob" rumor come from?

3 Comments:

Anonymous Thom said...

Desk supplies talk waaaaaay to much. The number of times I have gotten in trouble because my stapler was yelling obscenities at work is...well...endless.

1:54 PM  
Anonymous Thom's Stapler said...

That's Right....Bitch!!!

2:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi, my name is William, I am a webmaster and I also search for better ways on the net for 3M products. I am interested in Japan. Please email me if you have any extra informaton on 3M products. Thank you so much and have a wondeful day. Nice Blog by the way! ##KEYWORD

6:29 AM  

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