Friday, March 24, 2006

TPWK vs. Daily Kos

I don’t usually bugger with the fringe plurality of the Democratic Party, but this Daily Kos piece seems to reflect their attitude so aptly, and is so vapid and ornery that I just couldn’t help myself. See here for the whole thing. Here are excerpts, with my responses. (Note to readers, Dailykos is the most popular blog in the world, and often features posts from Hillary Clinton, John Kerry and others.)

Getting It Straight with the Wrong-Headed Right
by SusanG

What I need from the conservatives who were wrong is this:

A statement, a simple statement, that they were wrong and we were right. Period.

Ah yes. This is now empirical fact. Nobody is discussing the war anymore. It has been settled.

Not that Bush incompetently executed a terrific idea, but that the idea itself was wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

I’m envisioning Susan with her fingers in her ears, stomping up and down. But then, how could she type?

As wrong as you can get. You simply cannot force democracy on another nation at gunpoint. Period.

Worked on Germany. More than once.

It doesn't matter that you don't like the messenger, that you wish he or she were less shrill or not fat or not given to making documentaries

Note to Michael Moore, when even DailyKos is calling you a shrill and fat, you need to work on your image. Just sayin’ dawg. Loved “Roger and Me.”

It's not groveling that we critics want; we don't want conservatives to face years and years of personal humiliation over this.

That reminds me, please add smug to the “shrill, fat et al…” list of pejoratives I like to heap on liberals. Thanks.

The admitted emotional satisfaction we can get from that is minor, more appropriate for the schoolyard than the national political stage.


What the right doesn't understand - and why they're screaming that we're meanies over this insistence on an unconditional mea culpa

We don’t call you meanies, we call you shrill and fat. See above.

You could put the most efficient, brilliant leader in charge,

Yeah, George W. I voted for him. Didn't you?

but if the idea is simply bone-headed and undoable, all you've got is a longer time period before the unraveling becomes apparent, which in some ways presents a bigger danger. A competent executive that marshals a bad idea through its initial stages has a greater ability to hide the signs of an impending disaster.

So either you are conceding that G.W. made no effort to hide the impending disaster, or that he is a competent executive. Or is he just a stupid, but brilliant liar? Cognitive dissonance is always the soup du jour with the “hate-Bush” types.

Just ask Enron employees who had their life savings tied up in company pension plans.

Can I have my shoehorn back?

I also find it disingenuous that the right claims sole ownership of the "Saddam is a bad, bad man" banner.

But we bought it on EBay!

Please. Compared to the liberal left, they are decades late to that particular party. Progressives were screaming into the void about Hussein's human rights violations, his gassing of the Kurds, his terrorizing of political opponents long, long, long before it conveniently bubbled up into the consciousness of the neocon right.

Ummm… I have a set of Desert Storm trading cards that says otherwise.

For this, we were labeled too "sensitive," not reality-based enough to operate in the real world, where sometimes you have to arm a strongman to keep a worse scenario at bay.

I thought we were calling you shrill, fat, meanies???

Well, shove it. We were right. You were wrong. Period.

Telling someone to shove it is not a good way to elicit an unqualified apology. It’s also not very sensitive. It is, dare I say, shrill?

And you were wrong because - it pains me to say this - you lost your minds in the aftermath of 9/11.

And we took Howard Dean down with us.

War critics who did not, in fact, shut off their higher cortex and retreat to the reptilian brain during this period can make it easier for conservatives to admit they wrong

I remember when America collectively lost its ability to smell or fear in the wake of 9/11. Weird times.

- and we need to do this to move this country forward, like it or not - by quit rubbing their faces in it.

Like you’re doing now?

A horrible thing happened on 9/11.

Yep. It just happened. Nobody perpetrated it. Nobody was behind it. Just a big, cosmic, whoopsie. Out of nowhere, really. Nothing to get riled up over, though.

We were shocked as a nation, horrified, terrified, wounded and grieving.

And, in some cases, shrill and/or fat.

It is understandable - completely understandable - that a large portion of this country suddenly was willing to kill people - any people - for any trumped-up reason whatsoever to assuage the bleeding of this national wound.

I totally agree. I killed my neighbor’s cat in a fit of bloodlust. The cat’s name was Abdul.

But ... being understandable doesn't make it right.

The judge saw it the same way.

I can understand how a parent reaches a point of slapping a child out of frustration for asking one too many times for a Mr. Goodbar

Whoa… What? Did we just relive a childhood trauma here? “All I wanted was a #$%^#& Mr. Goodbar, dad. I was six! Six years old! You animal! Now I write for Daily Kos. How do you like them apples, you red-state, child-beating bastard?” But seriously, what kid wants a Mr. Goodbar? Those things have ALMONDS, people.

But it was then - right then in the fresh, raw, losing-our-minds stage after 9/11 - that the few outspoken critics should have been most honored, that critical speech should have been most strenuously preserved: saying whoa whoa whoa whoa now here,
let's slow down.

Joey Lawrence was utterly prescient, with regard to our military efforts in the Middle East. If only we’d heeded his call.

Let's look at the facts. Let's see if a military solution is going to prevent this kind of thing again - or whether it's going to further enrage an already clearly enraged group.

The liberals were, in fact, further enraged.

That was when it was most vital to hear "slow down the juggernaut and let's examine our options" counsel.

Yeah, we should’ve waited at least a year before going into Iraq. Wait, what? Oh…. Well, what’s the problem, then?

And that's when we were labeled traitors. Fifth columnists. America haters.

I’m pretty sure nobody was called a fifth columnist… I had to Google that one.

We loved our country enough to dig deep down into our courage and speak up

Ah, yes. It takes a lot of courage to be disagreed with. Thank God for you, fatty.

It's hard to say these simple words, without qualification: You were right. I was wrong.

You were Right! But, I would qualify that by saying… Wow, I #$%^$# up already. It IS hard.

Ask anyone who's been in a relationship.

I asked. It’s pretty hard, it turns out.

Hell, ask anyone who's been a parent or child or a sibling or a friend.

How many parents have never been in a relationship? That’s hard to do.

but it's also a sign of maturity and a willingness to move out of the realm of accusations and into the realm of finding workable solutions.

DailyKos is, of course, famous for their ability to move away from accusations and toward workable solutions. See FEINGOLDROX06’s comment titled “Fundie Bitches can Suck My Dick!” for a shimmering example.

Few on the left are total pacifists, unwilling to sanction use of the military under any circumstances. Many supported the invasion in Afghanistan.

Yeah, they were REALLY vocal in that support, too. Remember, how liberals rallied behind the President as he led us into Afghanistan? That was important to me, murderous and unable to smell as I was.

It speaks to a failure of imagination on either our part or the part of our adversary, a failure of diplomacy, sanctions, sophisticated intelligent gathering and healthy defense maneuvers.

Yeah, all Saddam Hussein lacked was a little imagination. See people, this is why we fund the !@#$%* arts!!!

So here's my final gripe with the once-raving right:

I’m glad we’re not raving anymore.

When military force is inevitable, it is not an occasion to be celebrated with sleekly packaged shock and awe campaigns,

Ummm… Shock and Awe WAS the military effort. You’re implying that we celebrated our military campaign with a military campaign.

the popping of Pabst Blue Ribbon, fervent flag-waving and a back-slapping binge of red, white and blue macho man international posturing.

Nope, rather it is an occasion for sniveling blogs, flip-flopping, and Christian peacemakers. That’s an effective way to accomplish our mission.

Somber, grown-up behavior is requested.

Um… Allow me to quote you: “WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG”. You also asked me to shove it, which is tough to do when you’re being all somber.

Flight suit photo ops, raucous bullying cries of "Bring it on!," are more appropriate for liquored-up frat party rivalries

I did think it was weird when Rumsfeld and Cheney took turns paddling G.W. in a pile of his own vomit. High approval ratings will make you do strange things. The Germans were imressed, though.

Vulgarity cheapens even the noblest cause,

Have you ever even READ your comment boards?

In other words, show some class, for crying out loud. It's the least the world deserves from this country.

I will. Right after I’m finished with this icy-cold can of smooth, rich Pabst. Mmmmmm… I sure do love me some Pabst.

And what we who criticized the Iraqi invasion deserve is an unqualified apology. We're all ears.

Okay, here it goes…

I’m sorry I called you a fatty…


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8:57 PM  
Anonymous Thom said...

"So here's my final gripe with the once-raving right:

I’m glad we’re not raving anymore."

I totally disagree. There is some cool music at raves. And neon. Lots of neon.

7:27 AM  
Blogger Kevin Sawyer said...

So, you're spamming me now, Peter?

I tell you, what an ass.

9:07 AM  

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