Monday, June 19, 2006

Bachelore Nights

As regular readers are certainly well aware, the Kevman is about to be hitched. As recent readers are aware, a bachelor weekend ensued. Here are some memorable quotes.



On Cuisine

“So, are we cooking the bacon in the deep-fryer or on the griddle?”

-Ted

“So, are we cooking the fish in the deep-fryer or in the oven?”

-Kevin

“So, are we cooking the steaks in the deep-fryer or on the grill?”

-Jake

On Crime:

“Rape me once, shame on you, rape me twice, shame on me…”

-Leroy

“I think we should just kill ‘em. I’m for the murder option.”

-John B.

On Soccer:

“Kevin: So, I propose that we take a shot for goal the U.S. scores.

Adam: Ummm… I think I want to drink more than that.”

“Why don’t they just have the U.S. play France? Everyone in the U.S. will care about soccer then.”

-Kevin

On Partying

“Dammit! I want some blow. What is it gonna take to score some blow in this town? This is what we get for partying in @##%$^ Iowa.”

-Former President Jimmy Carter
“I don’t think you can call it a boat party until each of us has earned life in prison.”

-Consensus

On Respect

“Oh! What now? Yeah, you respect me when I bring my gun. Everyone respects my gun. Nobody wants to taste this. Nobody!!!!!!”

-Leroy

“I’m sorry I shot your cat, sir. It’s been a weird time for me, with the world cup and all. Yes, I’ll clean it up.”

-Leroy (the next morning)

On marriage

“So, what’s your fiancée’s name again? Susan? Oh, Khris? That’s right. Where the hell’d I get Susan?”

-Jeff

“Are you wearing white strips? Wow, she’s already won. She’s already won.”

-All

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