Thursday, July 13, 2006

Cat, your not foolin anyone

Cat, I tell you man, quit burying your feces. We all know what you did. You think I didn't just see you take a massive dump in the litter box? You think I can't smell it, just because you flicked a little sand on it with your foot?

This is a waste of time, cat. A complete and total farce. You pooped. In the box. Because you are an animal. If you were civilized, you would learn to (perform the relatively simple task of) flushing the toilet.

You are beast. A little smattering of sand does not change that fact. Slinking away surreptitiously only compounds your obvious fecal guilt.

Cat, I've observed a trend in your recent vainglorious efforts to achieve some sort of non-cat cache with us humans. I saw right through your attempt to engage us in or game of Monopoly. You revealed your complete and utter ignorance of the games' regulations when you batted the entirely population of Indiana Ave. (three houses and the wheelbarrow) onto the floor.

At first I thought this might be some abstruse condemnation of captilism and greed, a notion that was quickly assuaged when you proceeded to spend the following ten minutes chasing the shadow of a moth across the dining room, alarming the dog in the process.

Further, you exhibit a seemingly unshakable faith in the so-called "grass is greener" theorem, as evinced by your repeated demands to be, in turn, eschewed from and escorted into the house.

You, cat, are not ready for prime time.

And where did you get that blue stain. What were you playing with that was blue? Cat, this is exactly what I was talking about.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Clint said...

It must be pretty damn boring at the new Sawyer household.

6:07 PM  
Anonymous Roger said...

Cat is cruisin' for a bruisin'!

7:20 PM  

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