Monday, July 17, 2006

A Disturbing Roommate conversation

So, I'm over at Leroy's place to get the last of my stuff, when he approaches me with a large box, wrapped in decorative foil.

Leroy: Here you go!

Kevin: What is this?

Leroy: Wedding gift.

Kevin: Oh, thanks... Wow, kinda heavy...

Leroy: The heavier the better.

Kevin: It's moving.

Leroy: Yeah, you might want to get that home.

Kevin: (unwrapping gift) Leroy, what... Wow...

Leroy: It's a puppy.

Kevin: Indeed.

Leroy: I named him Sparky.

Kevin: ...

Leroy: I know how much you like dogs.

Kevin: I'm allergic to dogs.

Leroy: He's a golden retriever. Not technically a dog.

Kevin: A golden retriever is a dog by every possible definition. How long was he in the box?

Leroy: Couple days. I wanted to get him to you sooner.

Kevin: You know, typically the decision to purchase a pet is made between a husband and wife, after some careful deliberation and thought.

Leroy: Consider this a time saver.

Kevin: Where did you get this?

Leroy: I was just driving around the block to get some milk, when I saw the little guy, just roaming around. And I thought "Hello! Wedding gift!"

Kevin: Are you saying that this dog was not at all purchased.

Leroy: Not in the slightest.

Kevin: You stole a dog and gave it as a wedding gift.

Leroy: Correction... SAVED a dog.

Kevin: This is completely inappropriate.

Leroy: I don't see how.

Kevin: We are not taking the dog. And I would urge you to clean him, as he has been stewing in his own urine for two days.

Leroy: So you're saying you don't like the dog?

Kevin: In a nutshell.

Leroy: Oh, well you're definitely not going to like your other gift. (Pulls a blanket off of a large cage).

Kevin: You have got to be kidding me.

Leroy: I call him Glowie, cause his eyes glow in the dark.


Blogger renee said...

i am relieved that one of my two favorite series (the other being confessions of a female college student, of course) has returned in place of the overabundance of cat information to which your blog has subjected its readership in the past week. thank you, leroy, thank you very much.

2:44 PM  
Anonymous Leroy said...

No Problem.

I like helping :) Like that time I helped Kevin enter that hot dog eating contest.

10:32 AM  
Blogger Kevin Sawyer said...


10:52 AM  

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