Monday, September 25, 2006

Guest Post by a Bennington College Grad.

As a person, I was pretty "pumped" about the decrease in gas prices.

But, as a Bennington graduate, I started using my brain, and realized that it's just another conspiracy. Yep, that's right, this is just another Preisdent Bush conspiracy.

You see, the president who faked 9/11, and then murdered all those blacks with hurricane Katrina is working with his oil big-wig, Halliburton cronies to lower gas prices, just in time for the 2006 elections. Of course, it's no skin off Halliburton's back, since they will just steal more oil from Iraqi orphans before they shoot them in the back of the head like I'm pretty sure they have been.

Yep, the party of rape and torture is artificially dropping the price of gasoline in order to make Republicans look good, so they can sty in power and promote their pro-oil agenda.

Yeah, except in poorer, black neighborhoods, where gas prices are still well above $3 per gallon. I haven't been to those neighborhoods to observe this, but I'm assuming it's the case the way President Bush viscerally hates black people.

This is all jsut a big attempt to distract everyone from the Iraq war, but it doesn't stop there. Has anyone noticed that the unemployment rate is down to 4.7%? Great news, right? Wrong! President Bush just got on the phone with all his Fortune 500 crony, rich, big-wig white guys and got them to offer temporary jobs, just in time for the 2006 election.

Of course, you'll notice that, between May of 2005 and now, no company has hired any black people. And more children are being thrown into poverty by Walmart, which is lowering the price of generic drugs in order to screw the pharamaceutical companies, who are paying off the Bush administration to make drug prices more expensive, so the Walmart can make more money by offering cheap generic drugs.

See, you didn't think of that did you? You and your pie in the sky attitude. You've been duped by Walmart and Halliburton. And now more children are starving to death than at any time in this nation's history because Republicans are actively cutting programs that feed this country's poor. the average high school graduate now makes $6.22 per hour, thanks to Republican policies limiting wages for hispanics and blacks.

What is clear is that we need a change. It's time to stop these bastards from ruining everything, and fighting an unjust war for oil so they can torture innocent Muslims convert them to Christianity so they can all worship Jaysus. This is what's happening in America people, only everyone is too stupid to realize it cause they didn't go to elite colleges.

As John Mayer says, we're all waiting for the world to change. John Mayer is so bright and the best songwriter ever!!!!! YAAHAHHHHH!!!! NO WARRRRR!!!!! SNNRRGGHHHN!!!! NED LAMOOOOOOOOONT!!!!!


Anonymous Thom said...

Bush is totally keeping oil prices up in poor black neighborhoods so they can't afford to go and vote his cronies out of office. He also may (or may not) have given typhoid or whatever to Bin Laden personally at one of the CIA meetings they attend together.

2:02 PM  
Blogger Chris B. said...

Dude, remind me to return your Che Guevara shirt. Also, do you have my Janis Joplin blacklight poster?

2:21 PM  
Anonymous Roger said...

President Bush ate my puppy.

5:29 PM  
Anonymous President Dubya Bush said...

No I did NOT have sexual relations with that oil company.

10:18 AM  

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