Friday, October 06, 2006

ELMO T.M.X.

This year's hottest new toy is out! Is it a Cabbage Patch Kid? No. Is it the new X-Box iteration? No. Another Elmo toy?

Um, yes... Actually it is. I really shouldn't have given you three guesses on that one.

The latest in the vaunted "Tickle Me Elmo" franchise has hit the stores! The curiously named ELMO T.M.X. has hit the stores. As a blogger, I am among the first to receive the new T.M.X. toy. Some of you might be wondering what makes T.M.X. different from the rest of the Elmo toys, so here's a rundown of the latest features.

1. After about 20 seconds of laughing, punches back, and snaps "dude, I told you to @#%$^#$ stop! It's not cool."

2. Automatically generates letters to Star Tribune responding to the latest statement by Michelle Bachmann"

3. Can look into your soul and sense whether the truth is in you.

4. Can make a subpar sponge cake.

5. Doesn't feel respected for his craft.

6. After two months, can learn child's name, habits, fears.

7. Can't be trusted.

8. When fed after midnight, turns into Robin Williams.

9. Will teach your kids the different between a good touch and a bad touch...

10. Now 50% more capable of annoying the living @#$% out of you.


Now go buy it before your kids sense that you don't love them.

3 Comments:

Blogger That One Dude said...

I was begining to wonder what Robin Williams was up to.

1:07 PM  
Anonymous Sarah said...

As was I. Definite feeding after midnight, though it might make some of the other features seem a bit weird and awkward- especially #9.

3:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I will post the video of this new TMX elmo on my blog.

I dare you not laugh.

I meant I hate Elmo too, but this toy is funny

9:11 AM  

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