Friday, October 27, 2006

An Interview with Barack Obama

From time to time, my blog gives me the opportunity to talk with various newsmakers and important figures. Today, I am privileged to welcome Sen. Barack Obama, fresh off his announcement that he will consider a run for the presidency. Sen. Obama, welcome to TPWK.

Sen. Obama: Thank you, it's good to be here.

TPWK: Now, you created quite a stir with your recent announcement that you are considering a run for the Democratic nomination in 2008. What made you decide to run.

Sen. Obama: You see this chiseled jaw line?

TPWK: Um, yes... It is one of your prominent features.

Sen. Obama: Very presidential.

TPWK: I suppose...

Sen. Obama: I'm told I put people at ease, am I putting you at ease?

TPWK: At the moment, no.

Sen. Obama: I have a very relaxed demeanor. I have always been told that, in those words.

TPWK: Great. Now, some have said that it is nearly impossible for a Senator to win the presidency because their voting record belies their claim to present themselves as moderate. And you...

Sen. Obama: Let's not talk about all that. Let's have some coffee. You want some coffee?

TPWK: Um... I already have some. I'm drinking it now...

Sen. Obama: Good, good... See, that's the first step.

TPWK: Actually, you have coffee as well. I mean, you just set it down.

Sen. Obama: So what if we both have coffee, is that really what's important?

TPWK: Um, you are asking now whether it is important that we have coffee.

Sen. Obama: Because, to be honest, I don't even like coffee. And that's what politics is all about. YOu don't like something, I don't like something. But we both have to drink from our cups.

TPWK: I actually like my coffee. It's hazelnut blend.

Sen. Obama: What if I drop some crackers in there? Like this?

TPWK: Well, my coffee situation has detoriated somewhat. Do you always walk around with saltines in your pocket?

Sen. Obama: Saltines and a little bit of what I like to call hope.

TPWK: Hope and crackers, then, always in your pocket.

Sen. Obama: And sometimes some crumpled up ones.

TPWK: I understand. Now, forgive me, but my readers will kill me if I don't ask. It seems that, from your initial senate run two years ago, you have been primed as presidential material. Forgive my cynicism, but...

Sen. Obama: That's a good point. Now, let me show you something that I think will illuminate things a bit. See my chiseled jaw? It comes off, look.

TPWK: Willikers!

Sen. Obama: Now when I dip it in water, look what happens.

TPWK: Your jawbone turns into a pirate. I don't think anyone expected this.

Sen. Obama: I call him Capt. Bloopsy.

Capt. Bloopsy: You never know what to expect in the whacky world of American Democracy!

TPWK: That's a great point, Capt. Bloopsy.

Sen. Obama: Are you at ease now?

TPWK: Not remotely.

Capt. Bloopsy: Sometimes he pays me to dance. Sometime I do it for free, like right now! (begins to dance)

TPWK: Who brought the Technotronic CD?

Sen. Obama: Happy Halloween, you conservative son of a bitch.

TPWK: Well, that's all the time we have for today. I'd like to thank Sen. Obama and Capt. Bloopsy for coming by.


Blogger Sarah said...

What are the chances that if Obama wins the presidency and falls out of favor with the American public he will be dubbed "President Osama"?

11:57 AM  
Anonymous Thom said...

You know...I am surprised he did not bring up how often people note that he "speaks so well."

12:01 PM  
Anonymous Chris Matthews said...

This blog proves that Republicans are racist.

12:57 PM  
Blogger Kevin Sawyer said...

I know. Why can't we all just realized that black people are all above reproach?

On a side note, if Obama runs and wins the nomination, the worst thing his party can do is play the race card. There is substantial good will on behalf of the American populace toward electing a black president. This good will is squandered if Americans are made to feel as though we are all racist.

1:08 PM  
Anonymous confused with coffee said...

so he's the one who keeps putting crackers in my coffee! and all this time i thought it was lucifer.

10:04 PM  
Blogger mrs. r said...

I think that's my favorite interview to date. Beautiful!

12:39 PM  

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