Monday, September 17, 2007

Monday Musings

It’s Monday. Jodi Foster has taken her rightful place as queen of the box office. Let’s muse.


My Lions dispatched the Minnesota Vikings to improve to 2-0. I don’t think the 1972 Dolphins have much to worry about. The game did correct one major injustice. The Lions now own (or, rather, share) the record for futility, with 12 combined turnovers in one game between the two teams.

On top of that, we had an illegal substitution in the 4th quarter. Some guy named Jimmy O’Toole played quarterback for the Lions. Jason Hanson missed a potentially game-winning field goal. I was listening to the game on the radio, and I would not have been remotely surprised to hear “and Tavaris Jackson is literally taking a dump on the 10 yard line in the middle of the play! This is a spectacularly bad decision!”

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And now for some bad news. It appears as though Apple Valley is now home to one less mortgage company. Well, TPWK is never one to withhold constructive advice, so here is a link to an organization with which Richard Garvey and pals might wish to get acquainted. Don’t say I never helped you in a pinch. Seriously, though, thanks for helping crash our economy.


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I should just set up an automated complaint line:

If you have a complaint about Kevin’s blog – Press 1
If you disagree with Kevin’s politics, or think Kevin has been too forward in expressing his political beliefs – Press 2
If you think Kevin drinks too much beer – Press 3
If you have a complaint about Peter or Adam’s blog – Press 4
If you plan to pursue legal action – Press 5

For all other complaints, please stay on the line, and an operator will be with you shortly.

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The baggy pants crackdown is going national! Kinda Big Brother’s Eye for the Straight Guy. Actually, it seems kinda racist. Maybe they can balance it out by banning pink vintage tees and polos. Or, at minimum, the church should do something about it. What would Jesus do?

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This season’s fall line-up has been announced! The show generating the most buzz is based on characters featured in a commercial for Geico insurance. I mean, good for Geico, but is this what its come to? Remember Mary Tyler Moore? Cheers? Roseanne? What has happened to us all?

I look forward to a new CSI: Cereal Mascots Edition..

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Stay tuned next week, when I build a bridge to a better tomorrow for our children.

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*Editors note: Apparently Mr. Garvey has brought his unethical services to Great Rivers Mortgage (what is with all the generic names for these scumbags?). Suffice to say, unless you are looking for the opportunity to jump on the subprime foreclosure bandwagon, I would go to Great Rivers Mortgage. And no, Rich, you can't sue someone for calling you a scumbag, especially when the shoe fits.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Thom said...

Jesus has no time for clothing issues, He is busy calling Kathy Griffin a bitch.

4:00 PM  
Blogger Marc Conklin said...

Isn't "crackdown" kind of an overly appropriate term for the baggy pants thing?

4:56 PM  

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