Wednesday, September 26, 2007

My quirky indie flick

I want to write an indie flick. None of this violence and boobs stuff we're seeing. Just a little slice o' life picture about, you know, just folks. People like you and me, with hopes and fears.

I'll have a protagonist, played by Bill Paxton, or maybe Aidan Quinn. Yeah, Aidan Quinn would be perfect, not too old at all. Just a widowed dad trying to do right by his boys, without letting them get away with TOO much. Ha, ha. There will be misadventures, though. He'll fall in love with Jennife Connelly, and there will be SCANDAL....

It will all be misinterpretations though. Cause that's the way life is. One misinterpretation after another.

Take old man chester, the town drink. He has all sorts of wisdom, once you get to know him, which we will before the closing credits.

And then there is the town gossip. She seems like a real rat, and she causes trouble for everyone. Wouldn't it be just charming if a cow pooped on her? She would totally have that coming.

One of Quinn's boys will come of age of course, becoming aware of the neighbor girl, played by Dakota Fanning. No need for boycotts. She'll keep her pants on in this one.

Connelly won't. She'll be arbitarily nude in a scene that could easily have been executed in a kitchen or out of doors, but will take place in the shower, and isn't really relevant to the film in any substantial way. My quirky indie-flick will earn a hard R. It's for families, though.

Of course, we're going to need comic relief. That's where Queen Latifah comes in. She's not gonna take your sass! She's a strong black woman! Not a stereotypical one, though.

Now, just because this is a slice of life, doesn't mean we shouldn't build to a climax. The old Baptist church burns down in the end, which will be symbolic of so many things. The town will come together to rebuild, learning that we have to accept each other and learn how to love and that the negro is people too.

It will be so original and so anti-Hollywood and Multimax will pick it up and I will be nominated for an Oscar and I will thank my mom, but also those who fight oppression, which is really what films like mine are all about and we need more of them.

I'll invite you to my after-party. You can meet Benicio Del Toro.


Blogger Thomwade said...

Where is Parker Posey? It's not a true "Quirky Indie Movie" without Parker Posey.

8:28 AM  
Blogger kimberlyoh said...

hot fucking sass! I'm lining up for popcorn!

8:47 AM  
Blogger Kevin Sawyer said...


Good point. Posey will be the town floozy, who learns that God cares about her after the rainstorm she prays for puts out the church fire.

9:29 AM  

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