Wednesday, December 19, 2007

An interview with Mike Huckabee

Every now and then, my blog affords me the opportunity to interview various newsmakers. Recent polls indicate a strong surge, and perhaps even front-runner status for Mike Huckabee, former pastor and Governor of Arkansas. Without any further adieu, Governor Huckabee, welcome to TPWK.

Gov. Huckabee: Thanks. Beautiful day today. Thank God for this wonderful weather.

TPWK: Yeah, well, if 20 degress and flurries is your thing...

Huckabee: I was just at your church on Sunday. Your pastor says high.

TPWK: My church meets on Friday.

Huckabee: I'm at your church everyday.

TPWK: We meet in an elementary school.

Huckabee: That's beside the point. What I really want to talk about is the importance of religion in American politics, and how all religions are necessary to make the tapestry of life we call America.

TPWK: How magnanimous.

Huckabee: Religion matters, though.

TPWK: Clearly. I think your cell phone is ringing.

Huckabee: Oh, hold on... Hello? Oh, hi, I didn't think you had my number.

TPWK: You're pretending to take a cell phone call from God again, aren't you?

Huckabee: What's that? Oh, he's here... Yeah, but we're all sinners. What's that? You like the blog,, you read it every day, but don't blog about mortgage companies or Nick Coleman anymore. Okay, I'll tell him.

TPWK: This is very condescending.

Huckabee: It's not really God on the phone.

TPWK: Willikers!

Huckabee: It's really Chuck Norris.

TPWK: Well, that's a value add.

Huckabee: I'll put him on speaker. Chuck, say hi to The Problem With Kevin.

Chuck Norris: What the hell is your blog about anyway.

TPWK: Just miscellany, this or that, nothing too important.

Chuck Norris: It's utterly banal.

Huckabee: I think it's funny.

TPWK: So, Chuck, what moved you to endorse Huckabee so early in his campaign?

Chuck Norris: Duh, I'm Chuck friggin' Norris.

Huckabee: He's Chuck friggin' Norris.

TPWK: Clearly. Now, Governor, you have taken some heat in conservative circles for your recent article in Foreign Affairs magazine. Some found it to be lacking in sophistication, while others...

Huckabee: Chuck Norris wrote it.

Chuck Norris: I ghost write and you like it.

TPWK: Right...

Huckabee: ...

Chuck Norris: ...

TPWK: I should probably make a roundhouse kicking joke now.

Chuck Norris: Sure, and why don't you make a Charro joke while you're at it, Captain Relevant.

Huckabee: Now, Chuck.

Chuck Norris: You hackneyed slut.

Huckabee: He meant to say that Jesus loves you.

TPWK: That's all the time that we have. I'd like to thank Mike Huckabee and Chuck Norris for stopping by.

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks Mike Huckabee.

Chuck Norris: Now I'm president.

4 Comments:

Anonymous Thom said...

This is why I consider Huckabee the most viable Republican candidate.

9:28 AM  
Blogger Ted said...

I don't get it. Is Chuck Norris God?

11:42 AM  
OpenID b-nut said...

Chuck Norris can spice up just about anything.

2:18 PM  
Blogger Jon said...

I guess if Chuck Norris is God, that explains how he roundhouse kicked Huckabee through the telephone.

11:08 AM  

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