Monday, March 17, 2008

Monday Musings

It’s Monday. Garfield hates Mondays! He’s such a cynical cat. I just can’t get enough. I love him… Let’s roll…

So I guess Hopeface isn’t quite the messiah other people thought he was, eh? Good on his campaign for getting Jeremiah Wright out of the way early. This extended primary season is helping him in that he can expunge his demons and blame them all on Hillary. Nonetheless, I am overjoyed that Midwestern moderates are getting a whiff of Jeremiah’s race peddling hysterics, and I hope they all take the time to breathe in Trinity’s church’s black panther theology.

Here’s hoping they take a peek into the UCC as well. The United Church of Christ is to Christianity as pigs are to frisbees.

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I read on CNN that some parents are sending their kids to potty school. Apparently, some children are some afraid of the toilet that they refuse to go. What? Don’t kids make fun of each other anymore? When I was in kindergarten, pooping your pants made you a loser, and being afraid of the toilet wasn’t the way to get in the winner’s circle.

A bunch of rich kids going to school because they refuse to use the bathroom. How positively French.

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News report from Detroit:

“Detroit police resumed their search for more bodies on Sunday, and tried to calm the nerves of area residents, after the remains of four people were discovered on Detroit's west side.”

How did that go down? “Ladies and gentleman, there is nothing to worry about. This is just Detroit.” They should just rename the city “Thunderdome”. Two men enter, none find job, one man steals other man’s car, one man leave.

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Gunshots ring out like a bell! For the second time in as many seasons, people were shooting at each other in my neighborhood on Saturday. There were no fatalities, about which I am torn. On one hand, I would just as soon have the bullets hit their desired target. On the other hand, that’s bad pub for my neighborhood. So here is my offer to the hoodrats of Shingle Creek. Leave the bodies behind my garage, and I’ll deposit them in Columbia Heights. Deal?

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R.T. Rybak would be the perfect mayor for Detroit, by the way. And, compared to Kwame Kilpatrick (take a minute and read up on that lowlife, if you have the chance, and then do take the time to vote Republican), he would actually be a modest improvement. If he needs to find lesbians to hire, he can always go across the bridge to Ontario, and I’m sure Cranbrook would accept his kids with open arms.

Kilpatrick can go lead Benton Harbor or something. I mean, it’s only a matter of time before they find that dude’s body in a landfill anyway. Where does Michigan find these people?

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Well, that got a bit macabre toward the end, eh? Blame the drunken Irishmen in me. He's feeling his oats... Toodles!




1 Comments:

Blogger Sarah said...

I didn't know you had multiple drunken Irishmen in you.

I am highly disturbed by your last paragraph :)

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

2:08 PM  

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