Tuesday, April 22, 2008

An interview with the sun

Every now and then, my blog affords me the opportunity to speak with various newsmakers. Without any further adieu, I would like to welcome the sun, which provides light and heat for all of mankind. Sun, welcome to TPWK.

Sun: Intense heat!

TPWK: Well, I think Minnesotans are certainly glad to finally feel some of the heat. Now that WCCO has gotten rid of Paul Douglas and his weather-sins, maybe our state can begin to see you around a little more often , eh?

Sun: I AM THE ILLUMINATOR OF THE GALAXY!

TPWK: You certainly are. Now, some have criticized you for what they might call discrimination against certain people groups. The Inuit People, along with Russian prisoners have filed complaints.

Sun: Hydrogen, helium and oxygen! Explosions at the rate of millions per second. Feel my man-strength!

TPWK: Your certainly a sight for sore eyes.

Sun: Do not look upon me. I will blind you!

TPWK: Now, don't get carried away.

Sun: BERYLLIUM!!!!

TPWK: No, you were the subject of some controversy several hundred years ago, as many assumed you revolved around the Earth. How did you feel about your involvement in the controversy?

Sun: Uncontrollable flaring! FIZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

TPWK: Interesting. Moving to, um, sunnier climate, what do you make of Carter's recent negotiations with Hamas. Will Hamas honor a possible truce, or are they playing him like a fool?

Sun: Seriously, can you believe that guy? I mean, if Mars came up to me and said he'd worked out a deal where Jupiter will let me exist for ten years, I'd be like, screw you Mars.

Mars: Eat it, sun. What've you done for me lately?

Pluto: Seriously, I don't even get to be a planet anymore, thanks to this prick.

Sun: You people had our chance.

TPWK: I'm with Mars on this one.

Sun: FLARIIIIIIIIIING!

TPWK: Great, now my cable's messed up. I wanted to watch hockey.

Mars: You are recklessly out of control, sun.

Mercury: Hey, shut up Mars, at least the sun didn't sleep with Venus after the Nickelback concert.

Saturn: Oh, snap!

Sun: NITROGEEEEEEEEEN!

TPWK: Well, that's all the time we have for today. I'd like to thank the sun for stopping by and adding further credibility to my humble blog.

4 Comments:

Anonymous thom said...

Maybe I should not have given up on my plan to extinguish the sun.

1:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

But... but I thought the sun was more eloquent :(

1:10 AM  
Anonymous PDXjake said...

your mom has uncontrollable flaring.

4:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've read a few of your posts now and each one is dumber than the last. You need a new hobby.

10:35 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home