Thursday, July 17, 2008

A Clarification

As many of you well know, Peter has made a decision to retire from blogging.

While I respect his decision, Peter made some references in his most recent post that might call my integrity into question. Specifically:

"As a matter of fact, I’ve been having a few behind-the-scenes conversations with Kevin’s blog, and they seem very interested in bringing me on board."

I want to make it clear that I made no promises with respect to bringing Peter on as a fulltime blogger. Clearly, Peter is a very talented blogger, and any blog would be delighted to have him on their blogging roster. That said, it would be disrespectful of the JLP, and a flagrant violation of FCC regulations, were I to make an overture to Peter in this manner.

Obviously, Peter has been under a considerable amount of stress. As any friend would do, I met him at a reputable chain restaurant over a plate of zesty nachos. We each ordered a cold-filtered Coors Light, and discussed a variety of topics, from weather to the price of cable TV. At no time did we discuss his participation in my blog.

At the conclusion of our meeting, he asked for the check, while I ordered another Coors Light. I told him it was okay for him to go, and he gave me that condescending "are you sure you're not going to sit here and drink all afternoon?" look. Then I got pissed off and told him to say what was really on his mind.

Then he said "I think you have a problem. Every time we get together you order at least two beers." And I said "it's normal to order two drinks at a meal. This is what normal people do, you uptight skinflint."

To which he responded, "I'm sorry if I think it is more important to use spend my money on my family's future, rather than blowing it on booze at Applebees." And then I was like "whatever, at least I don't leave my damn car in my garage the day after some hoodlums stole the keys to it. Talk about sober judgment."

Then Peter said "you know, this is just like you. You're lucky to have any friends at all," and stormed away.

He was totally right, too. I sucked down seven more Coors Lights while I watched the international cricket championships. Then the waitress told me it was time to go home.

But not once did we ever discuss the matter of Peter joining my blog. That sort of stuff is beneath me.


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