Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Blogging the DNC Convention

Yeah, I suppose I should. Here's the thing. Conventions suck. Having relinquished their relevance years ago, these scripted, inane charades do nothing to inform the American people as to how they should make a decision in the upcoming election. Everyone knows this, and everyone yet enthusiastically participates in making the charade a dashing success.

Day One

I was at the fair, eating cheese rather than observing it, so I'll comment on the highlights I can glean from transcripts.

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Donald Miller is offering the opening prayer for the convention. Miller, a prominent leader in the emergent political movement, got the nod after the editor of Relevant Magazine decided it might not be so, um, relevant to be seen as endorsing a particular party. Miller is the author of Blue Like Jazz, wherein he questions whether it is wise to smoke dope while leading a high school youth group. Does anyone on the Obama campaign even know the meaning of the word "vet"?

The full transcript of the prayer, which Miller absurdly made available ahead of time, is here and elsewhere. Summary below:

Dear God,

(insert Democratic platform)

In the name of Jesus, who died for (insert summary of Democratic platform)

Amen.

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Predictably, Michelle Obama reinvents herself: From badass Network extra to housewife who has seen it all. Like most wife speeches, it is pretty successful. I can't wait to see her banana recipe in Better Homes and Gardens. First, of course, she'll have to learn how to make banana bread.

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Day Two

It should be noted that Obama will need a very strong bounce here. Gallup has him down two points, and I don't think he can hold a 5-6 point lead, much less come back from a deficit. Someone's going to need to pull off some sort of surprise.

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I have said before that Obama has been profligate in his use of online media, but deficit in understanding the online campaign. Case in point, Dennis Kucinich, the fruitcake from Ohio, gives a late afternoon speech designed to rile up the crowd with red meat.

In the past, Kucinich would have been the equivalent of a warm up act to a live taping of Seinfeld. At present, he is on the CNN front page, with his exclamatory ranting highlighted in the accompanying caption. This begs a practical question. If Kucinich is providing the red meat, what does that say about the diners?

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CNN interviews Charles Barkley... For like 20 minutes. He says that he enthusiastically supports Obama, but this presidential election will not impact him. That about sums up a lot of things.

Then he calls Democrats who support McCain idiots. That's winsome.

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Robert Casey Jr. isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer, is he? He blinks more than Ryan Gosling in Lars And The Real Girl. If this is the standard by which Obama is deemed a scintillating orator, then it is difficult to disagree.

Four more months? Is Casey proposing a Christmas-time inauguration?

Casey reminds James Carville of what a stunningly simply business he used to be in. Robert Casey Jr. - Stunningly simple.

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Good to know that Joe Biden is suddenly the Senator from Pennsylvania. Delaware? Never heard of it.

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How did Obama not score Mark Warner for the Veep slot? If he loses, this will be remembered as an unspoken failure. I love his teeth.

Warner asks how many kids have the grades to go to college, but not the money. I would guess that this number is very low. What is the percentage of students who finish in the top 10 percent of their class, who wish to go to college, and who are denied the opportunity? I have yet to meet such a person.

"Recruit a new army of teachers."

I think I speak for all of my teaching friends when I say that what they are really hoping for is more qualified candidates for teaching positions. I mean, how are they able to fulfill all the opportunities that are literally being thrown at them?

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Off-topic, but Tim Pawlenty sure is acting like he's the pick, isn't he? Hitting the Sunday talk shows, armed with talking points. Unless he is running interference, I think he's the guy.

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More to come, including Hillary!!!! She is important!

5 Comments:

Anonymous Guy Incognito said...

We watched Hillary's speech last night, for some reason, and we were laughing at Bill because every time they showed him (which was a lot), he had his mouth open. Not talking, just hanging open.

8:24 AM  
Blogger Sarah said...

This has no relevance to your post, but I put up pics of the BBQ on facebook.

I can't track your e-mail address down at the moment.

11:05 AM  
Anonymous Thom said...

As long as McCain's Veep Pick is not Romney. Romney makes Obama look deep and trustworthy. And I think the country could survive Obama better than Romney if they had to...and I could not take that risk and just hope McCain lives through his presidency.

10:57 PM  
Blogger Renee Klitzke said...

on npr last night, a commentator said that the obama people were feeling "angsty" about bill clinton's speech, because they didn't know what he was going to say. he was, however, predicted to both lend his support to the obama campaign but mostly defend his own legacy.

noooo..... reeeeally?

3:00 PM  
Anonymous Thom said...

That's hard to believe. I mean, Bill Clinton NEVER talks about himself.

9:00 PM  

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