Monday, September 01, 2008

Labor Day Musings

There may or not be a Republican Convention right now. Nobody can tell, so Let's muse.

This is why I vote Republican, people...



Favorite line of protest coverage:

"A group calling itself "Funk the War" temporarily blocked traffic across the Wabasha Street Bridge by leading an impromptu dance until mounted police moved them along."

What's next, impromptu da... Oh wait, they stole my punchline by being sincere. Well, at least I can regard them ironically. They can't take that away from me.

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Enough about the damn hurricane. Seriously, Fridley gets hit worse than this every summer.

Funny coverage moment: At one point Geraldo Rivera's camera crew spotted a person in the flood waters. Rivera breathlessly reported:

"There is a man in a life jacket, in the water. Do we know if he's okay?"

Well, yes. It's the people who don't have life jackets on that you have to worry about. This is akin to saying "my God, this is a live construction site. Do you think the people in the yellow hats and the orange reflective gear are okay? Somebody rescue the man in the forklift before that crane drops that giant load of materials on him."

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In my previous post, I insinuated that the liberal response to Sarah Palin would be a boon to team McCain. Well, they certainly did a good job of that. It's as though someone launched, Operation "Terrify Ohio", and the troops are storming the beach.

I don't borrow material often, but this is a gem from Mark Steyn at National Review:

"When I heard Governor Palin had a bear hide in her office, I assumed it was Andrew Sullivan breaking in to hunt down the birth certificate."

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Saw this headline on CNN.com

"Greek Acropolis Plan Draws Religious Backlash"

I thought to myself, good grief people, let Obama's backdrop issue die already. It was a cheap point to begin with, and all it does is refocus America's attention on his speech.

Then I realized the article is talking about the actual Acropolis.

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The State Fair has come and gone, people. In addition to the disastrous hand-made tater tots, I have added Big Fat Bacon (with orange chipotle sauce), Ole and Lena's Norwegian Cheese Curds (w/ lingonberry sauce, hence "Norwegian", the Leprechaun Legs (deep fried green beans) and the Gizmo sandwich to my palette. All three receive my seal of approval.

Also, I saw a fire eating midget. He looked sad. I feel like Nicolas Cage in 8MM. Maybe next year, they can cannibalize the Butter Queen runners up at the Leinie Lodge, a la Interview with A Vampire. I mean, if decency is not object...

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Now, if he had been an Oompa Loompa, that would have been different. Oompa Loompas are wonderful, and they teach us things. Magnifiscent bastards, the Oompa Loompas.

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Well, those are three movie references that should confuse the search engines.

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I'll be back tomorrow with commentary on the "sometimes" convention.

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