Sunday, September 21, 2008

Monday Musings

The Detroit Lions are anemic, but you knew that. Let's muse...

John McCain could hand himself the election in the next 48 hours. How? By opposing this ridiculous bailout. By the time this thing gets through the Countrwide Congress, it will be a trillion dollar paean to banking special interests. We already gave them $300 billion. That's not change, that's more of the same.

The AIG bailout was necessary (or arguably so) on its own accord. A blank check is not. A measured approach that allows some banks (cough, Citibank, cough) to suffer the consequences of their egregious decisions, while focusing diligently on those who cooked the books, is warranted here. Funding golden parachutes for Citibank's execs and randomly targetting innocent bogeyman (e.g. shortsellers, who are targetted seemingly because the public doesn't know what shortselling is) is unconstitutional.

There is time for McCain to wisen up. The working framework of the bill has just been released, and McCain can call for a multi-faceted approach. In doing so, he can rightly note that the bill will be a smorgasboard for special interests. He could also note that it's, like, you know, going to cost us all of our money.

The public isn't going to like this idea, but needs an articulate defender of it's misgivings. McCain has played this role before, and he can play it again.


And could you imagine what this would do to the Obama campaign? He'd have to, you know, actually read the bill. Could you imagine how he'd handle McCain's position in a debate?

"Um, well, my opponent, you know, uh, he wants to, uh, he wants to stay the course, and you know, uh, that's, you know, uh, uh, Pat Paulsen and is, you know, I mean, uh, and, uh, you know, uh, the American people, you know, that's above my pay grade, but I, uh, think, uh, you know, uh, uh, the situation there is, you know uh, it's time for a change."


Tragically, the former drummer for Blink-182 and some DJ were injured in a plane crash over the weekend. Perhaps they were injured by some of the DEAD PEOPLE rattling around the plane... For crying out loud, was Fats Domino on the plane too? Dreadfully point missing, the press.


Was reading a story about undecided voters. Patience testers, they. What I find especially irksome is that they tend to pride themselves on their worldliness and cynicism. One of those interviewed noted that he expect candidates not to keep their campaign promises.

Fair enough. They most assuredly won't. What they will do, however, is make up a whole bunch of stuff out of whole cloth in an attempt to convince Captain "Last Minute" in Colorado. If it weren't for undecided voters, candidates would be allowed to be exponentially more honest.

These same people rail about negative campaigning. More than any other subgroup, they are influenced by negative campaigning.


Speaking of which.


Taco Bell has a new plan to get me to eat like a man. Communicating vis. Adam Corolla, they are introducing a "Big Box Meal", .

First of all, what does this cost? About $6.50? I know people who spend six dollars on fast food. It's a very particular type of person I like to call, oh, what's the word??? Oh, right, "WOMAN". $6.50 gets you a fast food meal at cougar hangouts like Panera and Noodles. Men spend $3.

Second, let's look at this meal. Is that a "Baja Blast" in the background? Why don't they just call it carbonated pilates? Oh, and nothing sweats masculinity like cinnamon twists.

Earl: Hey, spliff me some Cinnamon Twists!

Dennis: Absolutely...

Earl: Um, I didn't say nuzzle my ear and tell me your secrets.

Dennis: Oh, sorry, I thought it was some sort of code.


Oh, and the ad is set in a sushi bar. Because if there's anything a woman likes to eat, it's raw octopus, horseradish and fish eggs.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, I like cinnamon twists.

By the way, I love your blog, man.



3:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not to be too terribly self-involved, but was the "Captain "Last Minute" in Colorado" comment supposed to be me? Just curious. Like I said, I'm terribly self involved.

- Tyler (you know, from Calamity Creek)

2:47 PM  

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