Saturday, October 18, 2008

McLaren vs. The Cavalier

Brian McLaren continues his nauseous defense of Barack Obama. Full text here. Selected excerpts with responses below.

“I care about the environment. To me, it's not just stuff.”
Once again, McLaren loves everything really hard. You and I cannot love the way McLaren loves.

“I love it. I cherish it.”
Like, totally. You don’t understand. He into the environment in a serious way. As it happens, the environment has a restraining order against him, which is why he lives in a Maryland exurb.

“And because of that passion for creation, I am enthusiastically voting for Senator Barack Obama.”
He doesn’t love the environment as hard as McLaren, though. Such love would be impossible… Unless you’re Brian McLaren. He’s the Chuck Norris of sentiment.

“A while back I read a book about mountaintop removal in Appalachia."
So, you see, he’s done the research.

“Then I saw a Sierra Club video that put the problem in color and in motion.”
Seriously, what kind of person pens sentences like this? We need that big black guy to swoop in and take McLaren’s Miller High Life away. “Color and motion? That’s not livin’ the High Life.”

“I saw the devastation unleashed by insufficiently-regulated corporations, denuding and flattening once-majestic mountains, poisoning springs and creeks, sickening people, laying off workers, and making a few executives rich.”
In other words, McLaren swallowed whole an emotional appeal without researching both sides. Yeah, that sounds like him.

“Then a few months later I went fly fishing in Yellowstone, awed by the powerful presence of bison and elk,”
Creepy. That said, is McCain running on an anti-bison platform? If this isn’t bourgeois environmentalism, I don’t know what is. He’s like the Apple Valley couple who fall in love with Brazil after a week in Rio, then rent City of God and proceed to lecture everyone about how bad things are over there.

“The better news is that Barack Obama names global climate change “one of the greatest moral challenges of our generation.”
Finally, someone is willing to approach this problem with rhetoric! Has any politician ever noted that an issue is only a moderate moral challenge? Oh, right.

“The word “moral” takes on new significance when you stand in Yellowstone …”
Now, every time I sip a mojito, I think about those poor bastards living in boxes. Why don't you care about the shantytowns of RIOOOO!!!!

“And on his lips you don’t hear McCain’s popular “Drill, Baby, Drill!” chant.”
That’s because Barack Obama is stalling on the issue of drilling.

“Beside the fact that drilling now won’t improve fuel prices for many years if ever, the Drill, Baby, Drill! attitude seems careless, cavalier, adolescent, akin to “Bomb, Bomb, Bomb, Bomb Iran.”
As though Obama’s insouciant evocation of baseball references top articulate his foreign policy represents the height of sophistication. I think bringing up the "bomb Iran" chestnut over and over and over again is a bit adolescent, don’t you?

Also, if you want to know why McLaren frustrates his critics, I would direct you to his sneaky little “if ever” qualifier above as an example. He offhandedly asserts a flagrant lie.

“Working from a very different attitude, Obama calls for a government investment of $150 billion over ten years to catalyze private innovation in clean energy, creating 5 million new clean-energy jobs.”
$150 billion is going to create 5 million jobs? 150 billion divided by 5 million is $30,000. Those are some poor-paying jobs that are being created. Incidentally, if giving money to corporations creates jobs, what does taxing corporations do?

“He is committed to reach 10% renewable energy by 2012 and 25% by 2025, and to work toward reducing greenhouse gas emissions to 80% below 1990 levels by 2050, the current scientific benchmark.”
Well, if it’s a SCIENTIFIC benchmark… I’m going to employ this lingo in my arguments henceforth:

Me: You owe me $20.
Leroy: No I don’t.
Me: It’s a scientific benchmark.

“His administration will address the health of the Great Lakes in the North and water shortages in the West and hurricane-damping wetlands in the South.”

Also, Barack Obama will single-handedly save the sun, you know, when the time comes. It’s in his platform.

“A new kind of “smart” energy grid will become a national priority.”
I prefer McCain’s “stupid grid” proposal, which redirects all of our nation’s electricity to a jukebox in Tuscaloosa that only plays Bonnie Raitt.

“And Obama will convene a global forum of major greenhouse gas emitters.”
Well, I hope he doesn’t CALL it that. I mean, otherwise, China might NEVER show up.

“In contrast, even the first few sentences of McCain’s energy policy – filled with phrases like minimize costs, allows the market to decide, lowest cost, low cost”
Actually, the first few sentences of McCain’s plan say no such thing. He only references “allowing the market to decide”, for example, as part of a defense of his position on cap and trade (a position McLaren supports). Just in case you thought Brian McLaren was being honest and transparent, as opposed to a lying shill.

“seem calculated to show economic conservatives that his energy plan won’t cost them anything,”
Whereas Barack Obama’s promise that his plan will only create millions of jobs couldn’t POSSIBLY be directed at, oh, say, rust belt states with high unemployment rates.

“In contrast, McCain’s environmental rhetoric… consistently links US action to international action,”
Hey, he’s not the one proposing to convene forums of shame.

“I don’t buy Senator McCain’s approach of putting short-term financial savings over our long-term calling to save our planet from careless and cavalier exploitation.”
This guy sees more cavalier people than an Ohio sportswriter (I’m here all week, folks). I don’t support Barack Obama’s plan to poison the entire cat population. And he is way off on the issue of troll rape. I mean, as long as we’re just conjuring positions out of the ether…

“I think our planet is worth more than the highest bidder wants to pay. Actually, I believe the planet’s not even ours, ultimately.”
I guess I won’t drag the Bible into this.

“It’s borrowed from our descendents.”
No it isn’t.

“And more profoundly, it belongs to the Artist who created it.”
And so on. In his previous segment, didn’t McLaren promise to talk about abortion? I mean, all that nonsense with vacuums and limb-mutilation must displease the artist formerly known as God. Drill, baby, drill, indeed.

In reality, McLaren lives in a nice big house. His carbon footprint is likely larger than that of any three McCain supporters combined, what with the fly fishing trips, the effluvial books, the worldwide tour to change everything... Recently he gave himself a big pat on the back for discovering energy-efficient lightbulbs. Congratulations, Mahatma Gandhi.

And I’m pretty sure the Artist wants his electricity back for this.

McCain’s appeals to cost-efficiency and market-based systems are steeped in common sense. If environmental policy increases production costs, we cannot compete with China and India, whose environmental regulations are non-existent.

Beneath the bloated lexicon of creation care lies a zero sum game. Approaching environmentalism with religious zeal, benefits neither God nor the environment because the issue affects a diverse set of stakeholders, from fly-fishers to miners to marketing execs.

Pragmatism, cavalier though it may seem, represents the only hope for tangible environmental improvement. The rest is just hand-wringing.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I really like the McClaren article. I am just wondering if your deep-seated disdain from Mr. McClaren isn't some sort of jealousy or worse yet, a type of neurotic obsession. I'll keep reading. Not for substantive content of course. That just isn't there. But the psychological aspect of your postings could be a case study in some sort of obsessive disorder.

5:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Perhaps we are finally discovering what the real "problem with Kevin" is.

9:07 AM  
Blogger Kevin Sawyer said...

If anonymously posting caustic remarks in blog comment sections over and over isn't neurotic, then someone will have to explain to me what constitutes neuroses.

That said, I haven't devoted a fraction of the space to McLaren that he has devoted to criticizing any number of conservative pastors.

My disdain for McLaren (which, believe me, I share with quite a few others) is rooted in the fact that he is a heretic who slanders his critics. Oh, and he can't write, either for the page or the ear.

I'm jealous of the men and women who make profound sacrifices for their faith in God. And rightly so. They're eternity will greatly exceed mine.

McLaren, less so.

9:02 PM  
Blogger Kevin Sawyer said...

No more troll.

10:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

11:45 AM  
Blogger Adam Omelianchuk said...

Who is McClaren? I know who McLaren is, but this double "C" guy I have never heard of.

4:03 PM  
Anonymous John Mulholland said...


You continue to shame me with your posts. Kudos!

Don't worry about McLaren's footprint, I'm certain that he's purchasing the carbon offsets.

6:31 AM  

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