Friday, October 03, 2008

Top Ten Fridays - Sarah Palin

Not that you'll read this in the Paleomedia, but Sarah Palin handed Joe Biden's ass to him. This, in spite of the fact that...

10. Gwen Ifill, who moderated the debate, has millions of dollars in book sales riding of Sarah Palin's defeat.

9. Her own campaign has done its able best to throw a noose around her neck.

8. Barack Obama is black (or, at least, kinda black), and that is so, so, magically wonderful, even though he has no other positive traits.

7. When confronted with legislation that Barack Obama either supported or opposed, Joe Biden pretended that Obama either (respectively) opposed or supported it.

6. AGAIN, the MODERATOR of tonight's debate stands to gain financially from SARAH PALIN'S LOSS.

5. And also, that same moderator looked like she dressed this evening by coating herself in velcro and rolling around an empty U-Haul truck. Make no mistake, she NEEDS her next book to do well.

4. Had she so much as mispronounced the name of the Jordanian under-secretary of the interior, this would have been counted as a major gaffe, and proof the she is unfit for leadership.

3. Joe Biden was allowed to quote by way of paraphrase, which is awfully #$%^ing convenient. Oh, and every difference between Obama and McCain was the most important fundamental difference, which apparently doesn't defy logic.

2. At the end of the debate, Joe Biden made a creepy move to embrace Sarah Palin's children, intimating (to ignorant viewers) that they were his children. If Joe Biden touches my children, I'll put a knife in his testicles.

1. OBAMA! YAYYYY! OBAMA WILL SOLVE EVERYTHING! LET'S ALL BE IDIOTS RIGHT NOW!!!! I'M AN AMERICAN AND WILL BE ANGRY IF THIS DOESN'T WORK OUT, AND EXPECT NOBODY TO HOLD ME ACCOUNTABLE!!!!! YAYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!

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