Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Saved By Zero FAQ

Since yesterday’s revelation that I have been saved by Zero, literally millions of people have written letters and e-mail. Some supported my decision, while the more inhibited minds opposed it.

But mostly, people had questions, and I feel it my duty to answer them. Without further adieu, here is my “Saved By Zero” FAQ:

Q: Now that you have been “saved”, can we still be friends?

A: Of course. I support you in your decisions, and your Subaru Outback lifestyle. Heck, my wife and I have been through it. We dabbled in American cars, and even got into some 7% APR with our local Ford Dealer. I don’t come to judge, I come to save.

Q: I would like to purchase a Honda. Can I be “Saved By Zero”?

A: I would love to say yes, and some heretical examiners of the Toyota text disagree with me. That said, I can see nothing in my loan agreement that says I should transfer my low-low financing to a reprobate Honda.

Q: If I am “Saved By Zero”, will I go to heaven for eternity?

A: No. But with Toyota’s legendary reliability, you’ll feel like you live forever in your new Corolla.

Q: What if I already own a Toyota?

A: This is a great question, and I get it a lot. A lot of people think they can be saved by Zero just by owning a Toyota automobile. After all, if you own a Prius, you are already good car-owner, right?

Nothing could be further from the truth. Take a look at that Prius. You probably have a payment on it, right? Being saved by Zero means not having to worry about interest payments. Your slate is wiped clean.

Q: I’m black. Can I be saved by Zero?

A: Yes, which is why Toyota has introduced the affordable Yaris. Now, all of mankind can be saved by Zero, and enjoy Toyota’s renowned fuel economy. Also, Barack Obama.

Q: Wow, that’s really condescending. I’m a Senior VP of communications for a Fortune 500…

A: SAAAAAAAVED BYYYYYY ZEEEEEEROOOOOO!!!!

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3 Comments:

Anonymous peter said...

Both of these posts made me laugh out loud.

7:32 AM  
Blogger Adam Omelianchuk said...

Those comercials fill me with hatred and contempt.

8:39 AM  
Anonymous Guy Incognito said...

Me too!
My wife doesn't understand why I want to punch the wall every time I hear that song, which is 12 times every half hour.

8:53 AM  

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