Wednesday, November 12, 2008

A Welcome Invitation

(phone rings)

Hello? Oh, hey Steve, thanks for calling me back. No, nothing urgent, I just wanted to, uh, you know, touch base... How's Cindy?

That's cool, that's cool. Congratulations. Well, the reason I'm calling is, well, I told you that I've been saved by Zero, right?

Yeah, from the commercial... Yeah, from my blog, right... No, that wasn't a joke...

So, anyway, I was wondering if you wanted to, maybe, head to Buffalo Wild Wings and grab a beer... Yes, I can still drink beer. I'm saved by Zero, but I'm still a man... No, I know you prefer wine... Sorry, I didn't mean...

Anyway, would next Thursday work for you? Like 6 pm? Cool... I'll pick you up...

Um, you knowm, I forgot, well, I was gonna (cough) I was gonna head up to the Toyota Dealership. Maybe you'd want to just tag along...

Well, I guess I wouldn't call it a dealership... More of a school of driving excitement...

No, this isn't like those other dealerships... There's no muzak or laminated copies of Car and Driver in the lobby... They play KS95, and they even have free M & M's... No, they don't have peanuts... Oh, cause they were made in the same factory, so you can't... I get it...

Well, they have Starbucks coffee, and... Well, you can meet my friend Rich who I'm always telling you about... Yes, he's real... Yeah, he's an experiential facilitator for Toyota... Yeah, kinda like a salesman, though I wouldn't use that word, per se...

I mean, you can just go and, see if Zero is right for you... And then, we can go get some chicken wings... You know, like old times, minus the Mazda...

No, I mean, it's a great car... It's just that, after 75,000 miles, I mean, with the baby...

No, I understand... You have the chance to be saved by Zero and you'd rather stick with the same old... I'm not trying to convince you of anything man, it's just, once you've been saved by Zero...

Okay, no need to be brusque. Hey, let's just meet for Chicken Wings, and I'll let you drive my new Solara around the block a couple times...

Oh, I'm a zealot? Your wife is a car-hopping whore! When she's on the side of the road, freezing to death with your new baby in her arms, she'll wish you had listened to me about Toyota's roadside assistance program!

I'm sorry... I didn't mean that... It's just, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity to be saved by Zero... If you had the cure for cancer, you'd tell people, right?

Well, this is like that... What? Ohhhhh. No, I didn't hear that about your mom... How long does she have? Wow... How's your dad taking it?

You know, what's her number? I should probably, you know, call her... Do you happen to know if she's been saved by Zero?

Labels: , ,

3 Comments:

Blogger Jerad said...

Really enjoying all this.

2:18 PM  
Anonymous Roger said...

Hilarious!

4:53 PM  
Blogger Ted said...

I am glad that I read this before you called. A 35 minute voice message about being saved by Zero... Wow.

2:33 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home