Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Disturbing Roommate Conversation

(Phone Rings)

Kevin: Hey Leroy.
Leroy: How did you know it was me?
Kevin: Because it's 2:30 in the morning. What's that noise, where are you?
Leroy: I'm just in DC, catching the Obama festivities.
Kevin: Oh, that's great, Leroy. I didn't know you were politically active.
Leroy: No, I hate politics, but Barack Obama has promised to end politics.
Kevin: Right, right.
Leroy: It is time for America to bury the condescension of the past. I want to retire with dignity.
Kevin: Don't we all? How was the speech. It came off kinda dry on TV.
Leroy: It was really funny.
Kevin: Come again?
Leroy: I liked the rhyming.
Kevin: The rhyming?
Leroy: Yeah. The Brown sticks around. The Red Man can get ahead, man.
Kevin: Um...
Leroy: I wrote some new ones, hold on (unfolds paper) If you're green, don't be mean. Don't be a dope dressed in taupe. Um... What rhymes with purple and orange
Kevin: You are referring now to the Reverend Joseph Lowery's benediction.
Leroy: Joseph Lowery doesn't rhyme with orange.
Kevin: You are referring to Joseph Lowery, not Barack Obama. Obama is taller and substantially younger.
Leroy: So that wasn't Obama?
Kevin: No, Joseph Lowery is a famed civil rights leader, but he has not been elected president.
Leroy: Really? Then why did he go last?
Kevin: Have you ever seen a picture of Barack Obama?
Leroy: No, but I want America to bury the dignity of the past and I want to retire with condescension.
Kevin: So what did you think of the tall black guy in the red tie?
Leroy: Him? Oh, I hated his speech. Too long.
Kevin: So you hated Obama's speech?
Leroy: I think I have made my views clear. I want to bury the retirements of the past.
Kevin: Right, so why did you call me?
Leroy: Oh yeah. You're familiar with DC right?
Kevin: Relatively.
Leroy: Which line do I take to get back to Minnesota. The Red Line?
Kevin: Um... How familiar are you with the Metro system, or public transportation generally?
Leroy: Don't make this an indictment of my character. I'm full of hope right now.
Kevin: I don't think the word "indictment" means what you think it means.
Leroy: Sure it does. I'm through with the indictments of the past, and plan to retire with America. Now which line should I take?
Kevin: An airline.
Leroy: You know what, I'm just gonna ask the lady at the booth.


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