Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Scenes from a Playground

Three children, Billy, Suzie, and Ahmed are playing a furious game of Oregonian Bellypunch.

Billy: Gotcha.
Suzie: No fair, you didn't go around the monkey bars.
Ahmed: The whole game is now moot.
Billy: I didn't have to go around the monkey bars, cause I called Lemonpops.
Suzie: Lemonpops means you jump up and down. You didn't jump up and down.
Ahmed: Billy is transparently manipulating the rules. He is a fraud.
Billy: Shut up, Ahmed. I'll call my dad's lawyer.
Suzie: Your dad doesn't have a lawyer.
Billy: Yeah? Well, you don't have a dad.
Suzie: (cries)
Ahmed: Your insensitivity shames me to be of your acquaintence.
Billy: My apologies.
Suzie: (punches) Bellypunch!
Ahmed: Well played!
Billy: Foiled!

Narrator: By 2024, one of these children will contract the deadly AIDS virus. Do something, before it is too late.

This message brought to you by the TPWK Ad Council.


(ed.: The TPWK Ad Council would like to clarify that the children represent a sample. We did not mean to imply that Ahmed was more or less like to contract the dreaded HIV. If anything, Suzie would be more likely, growing up without a father. Thank you for your e-mails.)

(ed. ed.: The TPWK Ad Council would like to apologize for the insinuation that Suzie would be more likely to engage in risky sexual behavior, thereby contracting unwanted AIDS. Again, the children are a representative sample, and are actually paid actors. We appreciate your phone calls. )

(ed. ed. ed.: The TPWK Ad Council would like to clarify that it is not our position that actors are more or less likely to contract the AIDS virus. Frankly, we think that conclusion is a bit of a stretch. Thank you for your comments and concern.)

(ed. ed. ed. ed.: The TPWK Ad Council notes that Oregonian Bellypunch is a child's game, similar to tag, that is enjoyed in the Northwestern states. It is NOT a boutique form of the marijuana drug. Thank you for your inquiries.)

(ed. ed. ed. ed. ed.: The TPWK Ad Council would like to note that dirty hippies from Seattle are far more likely to catch the malevolent AIDS virus. If you wish to derive that conclusion, go for it.)

5 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Kevin, any idea what up at God's Politics? Looks like they've shut down comments and I strongly suspect its to get back at us wierdos.

Lord Voldemort

7:49 PM  
Blogger Ted said...

Honestly one of my favorite posts ever.

3:49 PM  
Blogger Kevin Sawyer said...

I think Sojo probably lost donors to the economy and team Obama, so they have cut back on hours available for webmasters.

6:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, Anonymous1, we can agree on that. But I really don't even think his views are worth the 49 cents in that last picture.

8:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, Anonymous1, we can agree on that. But I really don't even think his views are worth the 49 cents in that last picture.

8:35 PM  

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