Thursday, January 08, 2009

TPWK Theater

Working Title: The Problematic Adventures of Struggles the Clown at the Hands of his Oppressor, Laslow Penny Chance.


Scene 1: A birthday party in the 1930s.

Struggles crafts a giraffe out of orange balloons.

Child Chorus: Yay!!! Struggles has appeased us!

Laszlow Pennychance burst into the room with a whip. He grabs the giraffe from Struggles.

Laszlow Pennychance: This giraffe is substandard! It will bring only limited joy to the children.

Struggles: (Frowns)

Laszlow begins whipping Struggles, who crumples to the floor. The Child Chorus joins hands and begins to sing.

Child Chorus:

When our animal dreams
Are put to rest
We then reveal
Our truest rubber
Man's medallions
In the gardens of our brother

Scene 2: A bakery

A chef spreads a dozen cupcakes on a plate, and goes back into the kitchen. Struggles hesitates, and then grabs one and stuffs it into his mouth.

Child Chorus: How is the cupcake? Is it just delightful?

Struggles: (Smiles)

The Chef re-enters, and removes his hat, revealing himself to be none other than Laszlow Pennychance. He picks up a large chain, with which he beats Struggles.

Laszlow Pennychance: You are unrepentant of your heresy. This bakery is pure!

Laszlow produces a large chain, and begins to beat Struggles about the chest and stomach. With each blow, flesh is torn from his belly, and cupcake residue escapes his mouth. The Child Chorus Begins to Sing.

Child Chorus:

When you have your cake
And eat it as well
You devour yourself
With every bite
Praise be to those
Who save the morsels for their brother

Scene 3: A slaughterhouse

Struggles is absent-mindedly working with an industrial size cleaver. He looks down to reveal that he has severed his own hand.

Struggles: (Frowns)

A man dressed as a priest enters, and observes the wound.

Priest: Fear not, brother, for God has prepared a new hand for you in heaven.

Struggles: (Smiles)

The priest removes his sacred clothing to reveal that he is actually none other than Laszlow Pennychance.

Laszlow Pennychance: You have subscribed to a lie! Now I will have your other hand.

Laszlow produces a cleaver and slices Struggles' remaining hand. The Child Chorus begins to sing.

Child Chorus

Take what is handed to you
And want not furthermore
For there is plenty
To be thankful for
And applause is impossible
For your brother to hear

(The end)


Blogger Ted said...

You must really hate Struggles.

12:04 PM  
Blogger Adam Omelianchuk said...

Wow man, you really need to get a job :P

2:31 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

Top Ho.

7:03 AM  
Blogger Sarah said...

...and in case you didn't get my e-mail, karaoke tomorrow 8pm at Blondie's.

4:36 PM  

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