Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Rainbow Salutes February... And Blacks!

Hey everyone, it's Black history month again, and Rainbow is on the ball! In honor of America's favorite skin color, Rainbow is having a sale on grocieries! If only Frederick Douglass were alive to see this.

Hmmmm. Rainbow salutes February? How about, Rainbow salutes black history? What, the black man gets so little respect that a grocery store would rather celebrate a time of the year? Either way, congratulations February!

The ad gives us the opportunity to call (612) 396-4338 for more details. That sounds like a good idea.

Rainbow Foods representative: Hello?
TPWK: Oh, hi, is this the Black History Month hotline?
Rainbow: Um, well, this is where you can get more information, yes.
TPWK: Oh good. I have a few questions.
Rainbow: Alright.
TPWK: Who was the first person in black history?
Rainbow: Um, I'm sorry?
TPWK: I mean, I know they've been around for centuries, but who was the first major, you know... Was it Wilt Chamberlain?
Rainbow: Well, Wilt Chamberlain wasn't the first... I'm not sure I...
TPWK: Right, cause we didn't have color photos back then, so we can't be sure what race he was...
Rainbow: Well...
TPWK: Next question. When is black history month.
Rainbow: Well, it's going on now.
TPWK: So, now until like early March?
Rainbow: No. It's through the month of February.
TPWK: Hmmm... So they gave them the shortest month.
Rainbow: Well, it's Abraham Lincoln's birthday.
TPWK: He was white.
Rainbow: Yes, but he was important. Frederick Douglass was black.
TPWK: Really? So, he was before Wilt Chamberlain.
Rainbow: By quite a bit, yes.
TPWK: Okay. What was the role of Rainbow foods in starting Black History month.
Rainbow: Well, no... We didn't start the holiday.
TPWK: But you're honoring February.
Rainbow: Right, we're honoring the month, but we didn't start it.
TPWK: Oh...

That went well.

Of course, what better way to celebrate black history month than to indulge in stereotypically black meals?

What, no watermelon sale? At least there's a sale on two different kinds of Okra. Also nice to see another shout out for Lloyd Augstus Hall. He held over 100 patents. I wonder if he ate pork hocks.

Of course, if all of this culture and heritage is too much for you, Rainbow has deep discounts on an old stand by:

Is there anything I could say to add to that one? Didn't think so.

Thank you Rainbow. Your arbitrary sales tie-in has improved the lives of black people everywhere!


Anonymous Thom said...

I feel you are ignoring all of February's accomplishments.

6:39 AM  

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