Thursday, February 26, 2009

Robbinsdale Boycott

Well, one thing we know for sure... Robbinsdale now has a patrol car monitoring the house where Jamis Marks was murdered. How do I know? Because I got a ticket.

Um, not for murder...

See, unlike Minneapolis, or any other town with laws the resemble sanity, Robbinsdale can issue tickets for anyone who parks on the street during ANY snowfall. I found this out the hard way.

In addition to my fine (see below), I just spent the last hour on the phone with various agencies determining who had issued the fine, and how I should pay it. See, instead of listing the offense and the dollar amount owed, the officer (badge #3848) simply issued a citation number, with a phone number to call.

You know how this goes. I call the phone number, and the citation number doesn't exist. Nice f------ work, Robbinsdale #3848.

So I call the alternate number (911). The dispatcher informs me they don't deal with citations (stands to reason), so I am referred to 311. This was a dumb thing to do, since 311 only deals with Minneapolis issues. Again, Robbinsdale's gestapo snow emergency laws are foreign to them.

So I call back to the alternate number, and I am referred to the Robbinsdale police. Cue banjo music. Seriously, if you go to Robbinsdale, bring your own gun. These people are useless. If I were Mr. Marks' widow, I'd sue... Just sayin'. I give my number for a call back. The Robbinsdale officer who calls me back refers me to a website, which offers me the same information as the phone number.

So I call the alternate number again, and am referred to 763-525-6216. This is the number for, well, I don't really know what. The dispatcher forwards me to Hennepin county dispatch, who tells me to dial 763-525-6216. Again, seriously, carry a gun. The police are not helping you in this city.

So I call the 763 number again, only this time, it's Robbinsdale dispatch (what, do they draw numbers out of a hat?). Again, I am asked for my number for a callback. This time, another, more belligerent sargeant calls me back.

It is here that I am informed of Robbinsdale fascist parking restrictions. See, if I had simply pulled up to the address in question, gunned down the occupants, and drove away, I would be off scot free (right Mr. Watkins?). As it happens, I owe $34.

I complain that this seems rather arbitrary, and the officer asks me if I watch the news, as though KARE 11 is infatuated with the vagaries of Robbinsdale's draconian parking regulations. I am informed that I am lucky I wasn't towed (actually, I'm lucky I'm not this guy). I explain that a citizen should never have to feel lucky not to be unduly punished for violating an arbitrary law, and sargeant whoever gets surly.

He says he's been on the job for twenty-four years, and asks how long I have lived in the Minnesota metropolitan area. I explain that I have been here for quite a while, and that I live in Minneapolis, and he tells me that things work differently in Robbinsdale.

Fair enough, prick. Things clearly work differently in Robbinsdale, and so I will avoid it. Below are a list of businesses I will boycott. I encourage my readers to do the same.

(edit: never mind. Robbinsdale made it better. Don't boycott their businesses anymore.)

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3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You could've been more glib and told the sergeant you couldn't afford a TV therefore you have no access to news and if oyu can't afford TV, you can't afford the fine. Otherwise when you sign the ticket, just sign "go Iran" instead of your name.

I'd be interested to see what happens.

12:24 PM  
Blogger Kevin Sawyer said...

The snow emergency information for Robbinsdale is the same as for Minneapolis. Apparently, visitors are required to be psychic.

That, or avoid Robbinsdale.

12:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is it possible in any way he was one of the cops that had his job saved by the stimulas?

4:23 PM  

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