Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Baby, I Am Swine Flu

Hey look. It's me. A pig. Believe it.





I got the flu. You know what that means right? What with me also being a pig?

I am swine flu. I am positively riddled with disease.

People, this is my now. I hold all the cards. It's time to ride the swine. Feel me? Bring me a chalice!

You think Conficker is scary? Well, just you wait. I probably have that, too.

What do I want? Oh, nothin', just a chance to nuzzle you. Nuzzle, nuzzle, nuzzle. You see why I am so divisive.

What? You think this is gonna be like Monkeypox? A little bit country, a little bit rock and roll? Think again, probably.

Um, this is clearly a goblet and not a chalice. Also, it isn't filled with anything. Do you think I am playing swine games? I just barfed in a maternity ward!

I don't care what you fill it with, just bring it to me. Actually, fill it with Pabst. You still have some in your fridge right? Yes you do, we bought a twelve pack, you can't have finished... Oh, yeah, that's right. I forgot Gary came over. Just put some of that egg salad in there...

No, not in the goblet. I said... You know what, screw it. I'm gonna go have swine flu somewhere else.

Seriously, you people.

2 Comments:

Blogger Memphis Evans said...

Awesome. The only problem is that Egypt apparently read your post and believed it. Nice going, Egypt.

http://tinyurl.com/c7ztfm

2:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have been a critic of yours in the past, but I have to admit that this is pretty funny.

4:05 AM  

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