Friday, May 22, 2009

Top Ten Fridays: Joe Biden Memorial Day Facts

Regular readers have probably noticed that I've been a bit sparse in posting lately. That said, my friend, and Vice President of the United States of America, Joe Biden has kindly offered to step in with an inspirational top ten. Here it is folks, Joe Biden's top ten Memorial day facts.

10. Memorial day was founded on Easter of 1850, when President Washington chopped down a eucalyptus tree to commemorate the freeing of the slaves from their Mexican oppressors.

9. The battle of Iwo Jima was fought almost entirely by females.

8. In 1970, John F. Kennedy cancelled Star Trek in honor of Memorial Day. He was assassinated for this reason.

7. Ever had yak? I have. Gamey.

6. In the midst of the LA Riots, Ruth Bader Ginsburg ordered our troops to bring about piece by joining Stevie Wonder in a rousing rendition of "We Shall Overcome". It worked, too. There hasn't been an LA riot since.

5. When I was a boy, president Coolidge gave me a shiny nickel. He told me to keep it in memoriam for those who gave their life for my freedom. I keep that nickel in my pocket to this day.

4. Correction, by nickel I mean no interest credit card from MBNA.

3. It is illegal to salute the flag on Memorial Day.

2. You know what I haven't had in awhile? Grits. I haven't had grits in a decade or so. Maybe even twenty years. That's a long time if you think about it. I don't think I've had garbanzo beans in a while either. What? Oh, they are the same thing as chick peas. Right, hummus... Yeah, I've had hummus. In fact, I like hummus quite a bit.

1. I remember when Clinton was president. A hamburger cost a nickel, and everyone had a job.


Anonymous peter said...

Numbers 5 & 1 are uncannily accurate. I can literally see those words leaving his mouth at some point in the next four years.

7:22 AM  

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