Monday, June 22, 2009

Best of TPWK - 2005

I'm taking the week off, creative-wise. Fortunately, I've been doing this for almost four years, so I'm pulling a greatest hits out of my ass. Without any further adieu, and for the rest of this week, I offer some of my favorite lines from past posts.

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"Robots sometimes come into my room, and play my nintendo. Then they read my books, and tell me my literary tastes are, and I quote, "banal"." (9/5/05)

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"I'm as happy as an al paca in a Pennsylvania whorehouse." (10/27/2005)

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"Sometimes cats choke on balloon leftovers. " (10/24/2005)

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"No? Too much? Oh, pardon me then while I go crap on those infants over there. You think I'm playing games? I've got the bird flu man. You do NOT know what I'm capable of. Get bronzing, you bitch!" (11/2/2005)

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"Perhaps Mark, being from San Francisco, does not know where babies come from. Mark, they come from sex, and sixteen babies come from lots and lots of sex. Married Christians have sex. Lots of sex. Weird sex, even" (11/15/2005)

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"This morning I tried to go to Brueggers, but the wizard wouldn't let me in. He's getting ridiculous, the wizard." (11/30/2005)

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"I AM A 12th LEVEL BLOGGER " (12/1/2005)

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"TPWK: It's clip art of two bears having sex. That is completely inappropriate.

Ochuk: The clip art masks the sadness inside." (12/2/2005)

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"I'm gonna start swallowing my toothpaste. I mean, why the hell not?" (12/13/2005)

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"I hate the fact that my tax dollars (and yes, they are MY tax dollars, even though I happen to be a white male) fund the services of such incompetent teet-suckers as Jack Allison, and every other government-employed lowlife who can't find a job in the real world."

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New Years Prediction for 2006: "Small children will continue their love/hate relationship with electrical outlets." (12/26/05)

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