Wednesday, July 08, 2009

A Phone Call

Phone: Ringing.

Me: Hello?

Susan: Hi. My name is Susan. Minneapolis is at a crossroads. It's time to continue our strong tradition of leadership, and we need to re-elect R.T. Rybak.

Me: I think R.T. Rybak has done a terrible job. What made you think I'd be interested in supporting him?

Susan: Well, our city has seen increased property values and a reduction in crime thanks to R.T Rybak's restructuring of the police force.

Me: What about the extra police officers that he promised, or buying bikes for police officers?

Susan: Well, R.T. Rybak has a lot of initiatives, and we need a donation of $75 or $100 to keep up the good work.

Me: The only thing Rybak seems interested in is spending hundreds of thousands of dollars selling our smelly water.

Susan: Well, we understand that times are hard. However, even a gift of $15 or $25 would help keep Minneapolis...

Me: Look, he's gonna be re-elected anyway. He doesn't need my money because he has the gay power groups on his side, so why are you calling me?

Susan: Well, I thank you for your time, sir.

Me: Ugh...

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