Monday, August 10, 2009

Vegaspleasures Day 1

I’m in Vegas, but only for the thrills, baby. Let’s muse.

Sun Country Airlines pimps snacks and drinks harder than any other airline. Seriously, this airline would sell meth if it could.

Which, why don’t more airlines make this kind of effort (I’m talking snacks and drinks, not meth?) Flights are boring. People will buy stuff, if you ask them enough. NWA makes you feel like a belligerent if you ask for a beer after the magic tray-o-beverages has passed.

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Also, I’m lookin’ at a kid tamp down seconds on Sierra Mist. He just got up and asked for it. Game of life score: Kid with gusto – 2 complimentary beverages. Rest of Schmucks – 1.

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Speaking of schmucks, the White House never got back to me after I exposed my Facebook friends for being lying hacks. This either means.

1) They’re on it. In which case, sorry about that, Facebook friends. Mind the rats.

2) They delegated the whole enterprise to some overburdened intern, which, if you are an overburdened intern working for Barack Obama, and you have been assigned the task of dealing with people crazy enough to report “misinformation” they find on the internet… Well, hope comes in weird packages, don’t it? Have fun dying inside. Tool.

3) Nobody checks the imbonkers@whitehouse.gov e-mail address, and this is just a way to get mediocre party faithful excited. Oh, and accidentally handing an exquisite talking point to the opposition party at the precise moment they are pivoting from a generally moralistic message to one the appeals to personal autonomy. Good idea.
Either way, I’m beginning to feel as though I participated in a political charade.

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My delight is taking wifey to place I already know to be awesome. Be’Wiched (not in Vegas) is one of those places. Wifey agrees, re: awesome. She even ate a confit of sashimi grade tuna. And it was under $10 just because it’s on bread and called a sandwich. It’s like getting a Ferrari for $18,000 because it has a Chrysler label on it.
You have to eat here, people.

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My stewardess is named Josette. This is literally the best thing that has ever happened.

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What mountain is that? Also, what is the difference between a river and a tributary? I am away from the internet, I have had two beers, and the truth is not in me.

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Strictly speaking, if the truth is not in me, Vegas is probably the right place to be… Stay tuned.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello Kevin,

Barack Obama here. I am bored and I wanted to read what the loyal opposition has to say. I stumbled on your blog and, well...with the i.q. displayed here, I feel I have little to worry about from your side. Have a good night, Kevin. Can't wait to the government controlled mental health panel in my new plan gets its hands on you buddy.

2:53 AM  

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