Thursday, October 29, 2009

An Open Letter to Blockbuster Video

Dear Sir or Sirs,

I am writing to inform you of my disappointment with your in-store selection of DVDs. On Tuesday night, I attempted to rent King Ralph, considered to be one of the most influential films of all time.

At first, I assumed that this incendiary commentary on class structure and social norms would be located in the 'Classics' section, or at least 'Drama'. After over an hour of searching, I decided to ask your associate to locate the film. I was dismayed to discover that the film is filed under 'Comedy', alongside such trifles as Turner and Hooch and Some Like it Hot.

To add insult to injury, even though the film was listed as in-stock, it was not on the shelves. I endeavored to wait by the dropoff slot until the film was returned, but was advised that such activity would be fruitless and, apparently, illegal. Consumed by rage, picked up one of your giant pre-packaged pickles and flung it across the store (note: I am enclosing $1.48 to cover the cost of the pickle, plus tax. I can't remember if it was $1.29 or $1.39. If the former, please remit ten cents to my account. Thanks.)

Resigned to my fate, I finally settled on my fallback. I watch it pretty much every day.




Blogger Sarah said...

Dude you so didn't need to rent it. BTLC is on cable like every other day. :)

The absence of "King Ralph" only reiterates the popularity and influential state of the movie. Some old fart probably swiped it.....heck it was probably John Goodman himself.

3:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I want to quote your post in my blog. It can?
And you et an account on Twitter?

11:03 AM  

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