Thursday, March 04, 2010

Creepy Women Will Lower Your Bills

The sketchy banner ad people have apparently tired of informing us that Obama want us to go back to school. So it's back to creepy people telling to refinance our homes.

Yes, the failure to refinance your home at low, low rates through government programs is the product of a 9/10 mentality. It is literally just as bad as failing to secure our nation against a major terrorist attack. You people and your Miranda rights for detainees and 6% fixed rates. You hate America.

Since this is an ad about refinancing your home against terrorism, it makes perfect sense to include an image of, um, two unattractive, large-breasted women running in mismatched outfits. There shouldn't be any need for further explanation.

The copy informs us that only 95,000 people have taken advantage of the government's plan to help homeowners refinance. If only more people went to Creepymortgagelender.com, then everyone would be able to take advantage of Obama's (inscrutable and impractical) refi program.

We are disingenuously offered the opportunity to select our state (any click on the ad sends you directly to the main site), and I'm not sure what's going on in the graphic. Ostensibly, we are only given the choice to refi in Alabama, Alaska or Arizona, since other states are outside of the drop down box.

But there's a mysterious squiggle next to California. Perhaps this is a bare-bones effort to reach out to the absolute clusterf state hardest hit by the housing bust.

Earl: Great work, Jenkins. You managed to seamlessly tie together terrorism, ugly women, and lies.
Jenkins: Thank you sir.
Earl: Just one thing. We need to call attention to California. Think you can do that?
Jenkins: How about this?
Earl: A squiggle! Brilliant. Let's go get drinks.
Jenkins: I can't, I have to translate all of these e-mails into Nigerian by 5 pm.

It has become old hat to harp on these things, but has any company done more to diminish our online aesthetic than these jerks? I, for one, refuse to refinance my home until they give us at least three homely, large-breasted women. Who's with me?

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