Sunday, October 17, 2010

GOP Women are Mean

In addition to being Nazis and/or buffoons, the women of the GOP also find the time to be mean. So says Maureen "I dub thee kettle black" Dowd in her latest op-ed in the Paper of Former Credibility. Let's enjoy some petty reading, shall we?

As I sat above the Hoover Dam under the broiling sun, I was getting jittery.

Sigh. 700 more words of this crap. Alrighty then...

As the politicians droned on and my Irish skin turned toasty brown, I worried that Governor Brewer might make a citizen’s arrest and I would have to run for my life across the desert. She has, after all, declared open season on anyone with a suspicious skin tone in her state.

So, Jan Brewer is mean by virtue of adhering to Maureen's caricature of her position. That's reasonable.

We are in the era of Republican Mean Girls, grown-up versions of those teenage tormentors who would steal your boyfriend, spray-paint your locker and, just for good measure, spread rumors that you were pregnant.

Stealing the boyfriend of an angry liberal or, as Republican women call it, existing. Seriously, though, spray painting lockers? Did Maureen go to high school in a John Hughes movie?

These women — Jan, Meg, Carly, Sharron, Linda, Michele, Queen Bee Sarah and sweet wannabe Christine — have co-opted and ratcheted up the disgust with the status quo that originally buoyed Barack Obama.

Calling someone a "wannabe" is mean, in precisely the way that high school girls are mean. Also, if Maureen lost her boyfriend to Sharron Angle...

Whether they’re belittling the president’s manhood,

Or, as Republican women call it, existing.

making snide comments about a rival’s hair or ripping an opponent for spending money on a men’s fashion show,

...would be quite a bit like making fun of the minority leader for tanning, which the New York Times does, literally, on a weekly basis. That said, doesn't this kinda blow a hole in the whole "cheerleader" theory? Sarah was a basketball player, Christine was a witch, Meg graduated high school in three years, "Linda" graduated college in three.

Granted, these women have accomplished things, unlike our president. Maybe that's why Dowd thinks they are so mean. Cheerleaders can get awfully jealous for the boys on the team.

the Mean Girls have replaced Hope with Spite and Cool with Cold.

I am totally fine with this trade-off. "Hope" and "cool" have put us "over" a "barrel". Let's make with the cold and honest. Spite can tag along, too.

Seated next to Brewer at the bridge dedication was Harry Reid, the slight, mild-mannered, 70-year-old Senate majority leader who has wandered into the surprise fight of his career — a race where the fur is flying.

I saw clips from the Angle-Reid debate. Suffices to say, the fur is decidedly intact. Also, calling someone mild-mannered seems a bit of damning with faint praise.

“Man up, Harry Reid,” Sharron Angle taunted him at their Las Vegas debate here Thursday night. That’s not an idle insult, coming from a woman who campaigns at times with a .44 Magnum revolver in her 1989 GMC pickup.

It's really mean of her to drive a GMC pickup.

With casino red suit and lipstick, Angle played the Red Queen of the Mad Hatter tea party...

My goodness. If this analogy were being held at Guantanamo, Amnesty International would be involved.

Even sober and smiling beneath her girlish bangs, the 61-year-old Angle had the slightly threatening air of the inebriated lady in a country club bar,

Why do I get the distinct impression that Dowd has been that lady?

The debate between the former boxer and the former competitive weight lifter

Wait. Angle was a competitive weight lifter?

Angle could have told the poignant story of her German immigrant great-grandmother who died trying to save laundry hanging on the clothesline in a South Dakota prairie fire, which Angle wrote about in her self-published book, “Prairie Fire.”

Seriously? Wow. Angle needs to get herself a Dos Equis commercial.

But instead the former teacher and assemblywoman began hurling cafeteria insults. “I live in a middle-class neighborhood in Reno, Nevada,” she said. “Senator Reid lives in the Ritz-Carlton in Washington, D.C.”

Yeah, I got that insult all the time in school. "Why don't you go back to the Ritz-Carlton, Kevin." Just because I went to school in a tuxedo and played the fife. That Steve was a real jerk.

But he did rebut Angle’s inane contention that health insurers should not have to cover anything, talking about how important it was to be covered on mammograms and colonoscopies.

“If you do colonoscopies,” he said, “colon cancer does not come ’cause you snip off the things they find when they go up and — no more.”

Yeah, that's a sterling refutation right there. I hope he got home in time for Wapner. Egads.

“Well,” Angle replied tartly, “pink ribbons are not going to make people have a better insurance plan.”

So, you can be mild-mannered and incoherent, or you can be accurate and awesome. The latter, of course, is mean.

Angle has been pressing the case, underwritten by Karl Rove’s operation and other conservative groups that have made the majority leader their No. 1 target, that Reid must be punished for being in a socialist triumvirate with Nancy Pelosi and President Obama.

Angle is engaging in the uniquely Rovian strategy of running against her opponent.

In the debate, she went for the jugular, asking him how he became “one of the richest men in the Senate” after coming from Searchlight “with very little.”

Oh, I get it. It's mean to ask career politicians how they have come to benefit so handsomely from their political careers. Best to just let them get rich and not say a peep. Wouldn't want to be mean.

He said that was “really kind of a low blow,” adding that he had been a successful lawyer before becoming a pol, and “did a very good job in investing.”

Maureen Dowd is not mean, and therefore passes along this bald-faced lie as fact. Yeah, it was his two years as City Attorney for Henderson, Nevada that laid the groundwork for his fortune.

After the debate was over, Angle scurried away and so did I — in a different direction. I was feeling jittery again. If she saw me, she might take away my health insurance and spray-paint my locker.

Love the comparison of Angle to a scurrying animal. How apropos of an op-ed about how people are mean.

Let's review

a) Jan Brewer supports allowing police to ask for papers for suspected illegal immigrants, a policy supported by the majority in her state and nationwide.

b) Sharron Angle had some pointed questions for Harry Reid and also drives a truck.


c) Carly Fiorina is mean.

Here's my take. People who resort to calling other people mean are, almost to a name, mean themselves. Like the civility thing, calling someone "mean" is a bludgeon.

But really, it just doesn't seem like Maureen Dowd has anything to say anymore. She has a "way with words" in a political atmosphere that demands ideas and concepts, however poorly expressed.

The days of catty rhetoric passing for analysis are done, at least for now. America has had it with a country where power brokers reside in country club cocktail lounges.

This is a world that no longer has any need for Maureen Dowd. That's all a bit sad, but look at it this way. Nobody spray paints an ice flow.


Anonymous Mariano Rivera said...

This cancer causes severe pain known as chronic pain so I recommend hydrocodone.

11:39 AM  
Blogger Kevin Sawyer said...

Wow, Mariano. You really hate Maureen Down.

12:46 PM  
Anonymous Shannen said...

So, uh, thanks for the giggles this AM. Also, I'd like to ask Maureen Dowd her secret to getting her Irish skin to turn "toasty brown." I'm Irish and I know a lot of Irish lasses who never "brown" but go from a pleasant peaches and cream to lobster red. Maybe I'll just zip her an email to qualm my curiosity. :)

8:23 AM  

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