Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Long time, no post. Let's beat up on Sojourners.

So here's the thing. For two years, I have asked Sojourners to stop sending me crap, insofar as they literally banned conservatives from posting on their blog.

After the Tuscon shootings, Sojourners sent me another money request, in the name of civility. I again asked that they stop. Nonetheless, the shills abide. Sucks having to cover the cost of a $160,000 per year huckster whose only goal is to sell books and get noticed at the White House, I suppose.

Naturally, Sojo is disgusted by the idea of budget cuts. Why can't we simply buy more crap we can't afford? That's what Jesus would do. Let's rock...

School lunch assistance for the hungry classmate of your child or grandchild.

Who is probably overweight, if not obese, but also covered regardless of what budget cut takes place.

Tax credits for your neighbor struggling to make ends meet.

If you are struggling to make ends meet, what could you possibly have done to deserve the sort of tax credits that are under threat?

Investment in your city’s low-income school districts.

Mostly threatened by the fact that thinking parents (and that's most of 'em) have gotten out of dodge, so to speak.

Mosquito nets and vaccines for children in impoverished nations.

Which Barack Obama literally promised to cut, with no outcry from Sojourners.

We can’t let them place the burden of deficit reduction on the poor and vulnerable.
Believe me, it isn't. It's on the people who are reading this, who are almost certainly paying taxes.

But this week we need to step it up a notch – or two! So, we plan to: Run an ad campaign called “What Would Jesus Cut?” We’ve already raised the first 10% of the cost and we need you to give a gift of $25, $50, or $100 to help us with the rest.

Let's face it, that exclamation point is pretty much just a third notch.

Send a physical reminder to members of Congress. For every donation made, we’ll send a “What Would Jesus Cut?” bracelet to a congressional office – that means 535 people need to support this work. Don’t worry, we’ll send you a bracelet as well.

Eric Cantor will be thrilled to receive this. Doesn't he know he made a pledge to Jesus Christ to advance stupid political ideas?

Other interest groups have well-paid lobbyists to protect their budget portions, but who will defend the poor if people of faith don’t?

Other lobbyists. But yes, let's all give our money to Sojourners to preserve the system whereby the best lobbyist wins.
We know you are as concerned as we are about the hungry children, the struggling neighbors, and the poor around the world. This is our chance to make our voice heard and to challenge the moral priorities of Washington.

And trains. Don't forget trains! If trains can't get from Pittsburgh to Hartford in less than five hours, little Timmy o'Toole will literally starve to death. Shame on Republicans for putting him in that well.
Give today!
Yeah, again...

P.S. Feel free to email us with more ideas on how other Christian fads of the ‘90s can be put to use in defending the poor!

Not kidding. This was seriously in the e-mail. Heck, I'm game. My ideas.

- Co-opt the whole "oral sex isn't sex" meme. The financial possibilities are endless.

- A "what would my coffee-shop/mega-church in the northern suburbs of Chicago cut?" diamond pendant.

- I KISSED FISCAL RESPONSIBILITY GOODBYE!



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