Friday, November 18, 2011

So I got robbed

Today, some thugs thought the sensible thing to do would be to break into my house and rob us of what they perceive to be our most valuable possessions.

As it happens, I have some opinions about this. They are as follows:

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Here's how it goes for cops in this city. They have the car the robbers were using. They have the driver in custody. They have a guy they captured in the yard across our alley.

What's awesome? They don't even have enough evidence to get a warrant to search the car. They have the car in their possession but, by law, they cannot look inside it.

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To the robbers. Geez, it's not enough my tax dollars feed you and house you and buy your automobile? Yeah, God forbid my wife would have nice things. Better to deprive her of them.

Fortunately, you had the good sense to do so while I was away. Had I been working from home, there would be no "you", my wife would have her jewelry, to which you apparently decided she was not entitled, and there would be some sort of civil rights gadfly marching on your grave.

So you've earned it, in a sense, I guess. Good on you, bastard. Just don't come back 'round. You may be strong, but I've got your IQ covered by 65 points minimum, I have an adorable baby to defend and I have a pretty powerful God on my side. I will kill you. I have no compunction about doing so; no more so than killing mice.

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I actually do feel kinda bad about killing mice.

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All of this makes me all the more worried it took 20 minutes for cops to show up after I reported a shotgun blast last weekend. Are the gangs marking their territory? Is this how they do it? If so, what if their assignment is to murder a white family? Sounds like something they would do.

I've said before it will take the murder of a gay man or a white girl to get our useless mayor's attention focused on our world-class crime problem. I'd just as soon that girl not be my daughter or that gay man my neighbor.

Let's face it. If you don't live in the affluent 1/3rd of this city, Minneapolis can be a pretty unpleasant place to live. There is no excuse for this. R.T. Rybak doesn't care, because he can ride on motorcycles with lesbians and that's enough for most people.

Barb Johnson doesn't give a damn, because nobody is going to rob her Victory Memorial house.

Cam Gordon doesn't care because he is almost certainly on drugs.

Meg Tuthill is convinced that there is a patio crisis in this city, which is so strange I can't bring myself to comprehend it. Dear Uptown, if sentient beings comprise you, please vote for whomever runs against this lunatic. Else, you get the government you deserve, and you deserve to get shot from time to time.

Gary Schiff wants to be the next R.T. Rybak. Insofar as he's an ineffectual twit, he's right on track.

The Park Board thanks you kindly for the tax dollars, but will simply keep them for itself. Thanks for your donation to their lovely office space.

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Foreclosing and moving to the suburbs looks better every day.

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Oh, and to all the NoMi advocates who have shamed me for promoting stereotypes... Well, what do you want from me?

3 Comments:

Blogger jessmc420 said...

I applause you friend.... well put.....
have you checked out the story of Joe Horn from Texas.... you will be dumb founded by the total idiots people follow so blindly.... like sheeps following the butcher..... in the story check out the Equal rights fighters being the most racist stereotyping lunatics around!! I actually have the STRONGEST URGE to move to Texas!
I am so grateful that your family and youself are unharmed.... because God knows what evil lurks in the hearts of fallen and stupid assholes!

8:18 PM  
Blogger Kevin Sawyer said...

I've written on Joe Horn. His case outrages me.

9:45 PM  
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