Friday, March 16, 2012

Unintended consequences: Compostable Bags edition

Because our city leaders are ever preoccupied with the frivolous, Minneapolis homeowners are continually subject to their vagaries, fetishes and whims. Yesterday, a poorly-designed, sloppily written mailer informed us we must now use compostable bags for yard waste.

Compostable bags:

A) Cost three times as much as regular lawn and leaf bags

B) Suck rabbit scrota

In North Minneapolis, here is what will not happen:

A) Residents diligently working to ensure their leaves are disposed of in an appropriate fashion, in accordance with the new standard.

Here is what will happen:

A) Residents simply throwing their leaves in the trash.

B) Alleys full of torn, wet, non-compliant lawn and leaf bags.

C) Leaves ****ing everywhere.

So everything will work out. Off topic, but our city has like no crime and a major budget surplus, right? No? Because I thought...

2 Comments:

Anonymous KO said...

leaves effing everywhere leads to more baby leaves. that's never good. (PS the 'compostable' SunChips bag we put in our compost pile a few years ago is still there. Yeah!)

10:47 AM  
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